Hello, It’s Me. I’m just dropping you a line to let you know I’m leaving. Friday is technically my last day at Jezebel dot com, but since that’s a holiday, and I am spending the entirety of it eating pot brownies and getting scared at Blue Planet in HD, today’s the day I write my Goodbye Post.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Unfortunately for many of us, all of those deep fried turkey faces and iced gravy drums come at a price: having to spend time around that mangy group of creatures you call a family. But don’t fear, you shivering, nude snowflake: we’ve got you covered. Just follow our…
I hate the gym. Hate is, perhaps, a strong word, but I certainly and adamantly prefer not to be inside one. Unless a person is a fan of group fitness classes, they’re basically misery caves, especially in the winter— sweaty, air saturated with aspirated moisture from the pores of other humans, exertion sounds,…
Damn. Could never have seen this coming since Bobby Jindal announced he was running for President.
Another day, another debate. This time, it’s on a Saturday night, so you don’t have to feel too too bad about getting drunk during it.
Today, inside-out lower intestine Donald Trump, ever on-brand, referred to protests of institutional ambivalence to racism at the University of Missouri as “disgusting.” They’re far from the first recipient of that Trump slam.
In 1971, future law professor and opinion columnist Glenn Reynolds turned 11 years old, and the 26th Amendment to the US Constitution was ratified, lowering the voting age from 21 to 18. Perhaps America was wrong. Perhaps, in addition to lowering the voting age, the 26th Amendment should have included a clause to…
The first ballots in this election will be cast in only a few short months, Fox Business News waxed quixotic during last night’s GOP presidential debate coverage. The thought comforted me for about a second. Then I remembered that while the February 1 Iowa caucuses draw swiftly nigh, we still have a goddamn year…
Having a great time.
Tonight, at the very rude time of 9 pm EST, Fox Business Network will take a break from its regular schedule of airing problems that appeal to 83-year-old gold hoarders and will instead air a debate between eight people who all think they’re auditioning to be a Fox Business News pundit. It’s the 783rd Republican…
Ben Carson, a brilliant neurosurgeon and current GOP presidential frontrunner, believes many insane things to be true. We’ve alphabetized a few of the most colorful.
America’s lesser legislative body has released its calendar for 2016, and on it, a grueling schedule that involves a full 25 four-or-five-day weeks, a punishing 111 days of work. Inspiring.
America doesn’t ask much of you, besides 30% of your income, give or take, and a begrudging tolerance for Ken Burns documentaries. Except for one big thing.
Jeb Can Fix It, says Jeb Bush’s new campaign stationery and probably the cover of a sweet little cardboard baby book about an industrious problem-solving boy.
Today, another load of Clinton emails were wet-heaved onto the internet. Most of them are banal. Many of them are nonsensical without context. And at least one of the trove of Hillary emails reads like the grocery lists of a mad scientist dabbling in mad diplomacy. It confuses and delights me.
Halloween is enjoyable in moderation, but, as is the case with many vices, it is difficult to enjoy without overindulging. Every year, I set out to have a good spooky time, and before I know it, I’m huddled under a blanket with all the lights on because I thought it might be fun to cook dinner while the creepiness…
