Hey, pals! Sorry for the technical delays—one of our tech-possums spilled an entire Fresca down the vents of the TRS-80 that serves our web pages via 28.8 bps modem, so we had to fix that. We should be good now! Thanks for being patient.

Hey, welcome to a whole new week! Before you unwrap it and try it out, though, quick question: would this image be improved if the people’s organs were visible as well?

Hey! You made it through another week! Damn, you’re good at this moving-forward-through time stuff. Let’s celebrate by trying to estimate the sizes of the people in this Austin-Healey Sprite. Based on the sizes and positions of their heads, I’m not sure either person would be more than, oh, maybe 60 percent scale of…

Though not common anymore, back in the mid-’80s “Topazzin’” was known as the practice of driving into oncoming traffic at speeds of up to 34 MPH while laying on the horn and sobbing. In a Ford Topaz (Mercury in US markets). It was illegal, of course, but also deeply embarrassing.

Once, Saab pioneered low-budget advertising by shooting all their promotional pictures in a Sears Portrait Studio. They had coupons.

There’s something about a car parked on a dock in pitch darkness that just feels like, you know, bad shit is going down. Is there a way to look at this and think, say, that’s some wholesome fun! I’m not sure there is.

Moss sells. If there was one adage from the 1970s that still makes sense today, it’s that. You want to get people interested in something, anything? Surround it with as much damp moss as you possibly can. That’s why Datsun sold so many of these Cherrys back in the ‘70s—because they knew to moss the shit out of them.