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Ashley Feinberg

Ashley Feinberg's posts

Ashley Feinberg

Ashley Feinberg's posts

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Ashley Feinberg
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Ashley Feinberg used to work here.

ashley@gizmodomedia.com@ashleyfeinberg

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Where The Fuck Are This Girl's Legs?

Ashley Feinberg
12/28/16 1:06pm
22370
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“The internet is going crazy over this insane optical illusion.” It’s the sentence that’s started a million blogs in the past and will continue to start a million blogs in the future—and for good reason. Because where the fuck are this girl’s legs?

Newt Gingrich Is In A Dark Place

Ashley Feinberg
12/22/16 1:09pm
18922
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Newt, my boy. My dear, morally bankrupt Newt. What did Mr. Trump do to you? Did he hurt you? You can tell us. You don’t have to do this.

The Year In Ted Cruz Humiliations

Ashley Feinberg
12/21/16 11:30am
13946
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There’s never exactly a good time to be Ted Cruz. His mannerisms are stilted, his friends are nonexistent, and he has far more skin than any one human should ever possess. There are, however, less-bad times to be Ted. And 2016 was not one of those years.

The Best Tweets of 2016

Ashley Feinberg
12/20/16 3:35pm
57
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These are the good tweets:

Daddy Trump Let Lil' Donnie Pick The Interior Secretary Most Likely To Let Him Kill Things

Ashley Feinberg
12/15/16 9:26pm
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Donald Trump Jr., an avid hunter and even more avid hunting message board user, will officially be taking over the family business come inauguration day. This means that there’s absolutely no world in which Don Jr. should be meddling in his father’s pending presidency whatsoever. Except, apparently, for the world in…

Rick Perry's Glasses Qualify Him For Important Science Post, Building Nukes

Ashley Feinberg
12/12/16 11:54pm
21137
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Rick Perry, a swaggering idiot who found a pair of glasses on the street one day, is about to become the head of the Department of Energy, according to CBS News. The Department of Energy’s job right now is to develop the next generation of nuclear weapons. What this means practically speaking, of course, is that we…

This Seinfeld Reboot Sucks

Ashley Feinberg
12/09/16 5:12pm
13544
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Donald Trump, who will be spending the next four years traveling around the country doing stand-up, took some time today to give his hungry constituents what they crave: good, clean observational humor.

Why Is HBO Refusing To Deny That Westworld's Robots Poop?

Ashley Feinberg
12/09/16 11:40am
33836
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HBO’s Westworld, the haunting tale of what can happen when cowboy sex robots go awry, spent its first season unwrapping many of the mysteries that so captivated its audience—save, that is, the question that has tormented fans most of all. And that’s apparently exactly how HBO wants it.

Ted Cruz Talks About Dripping Melted Cheese Down His Face

Ashley Feinberg
12/07/16 2:17pm
13517
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Earlier today, during a casual run-in with reporters, Ted Cruz apparently decided that we have yet to be sufficiently punished for our collective misdeeds. To rectify the situation, Ted Cruz talked about how much he enjoys dribbling queso down his flesh-mask’s mottled chin.

CNN Unsure If Trump Should Take Political Risk Of Acknowledging Jews Are People

Ashley Feinberg
11/21/16 6:45pm
32240
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If you tuned in to CNN earlier today, you might have found yourself greeted by a chyron that could have been ripped straight out of a Newt Gingrich Nazi fanfic: Alt-Right Founder Questions If Jews Are People. The real question, of course, is whether our president-elect should distance himself from an explicit group of…

Politics

Boo Mike Pence Whenever Possible [Updates]

Ashley Feinberg
11/18/16 10:25pm
958209
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Tonight, Vice President-elect Mike Pence decided to take in a performance of Hamilton. But apparently, as soon as he walked in the theater, the only good Hamilton fans in the world started booing like crazy. This is the sound Mike Pence should hear every single time he leaves his house.

Politics

“You Shitti Farty Dirty Nasty JUDE Bitch!”: Trump Voters Send Their Best

Ashley Feinberg
11/18/16 1:50pm
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Donald Trump is about to be president, a white nationalist is whispering in his ear, and Jeff “The Ku Klux Klan Is Alright By Me” Sessions will soon be our attorney general. We are entering a golden age for racists in America. And according to my inbox, these assholes know it.

Politics

Stormfront On Steve Bannon's Appointment: "It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This"

Ashley Feinberg
11/15/16 6:15pm
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Since its founding by a former Ku Klux Klan leader in 1996, Stormfront has been the internet’s premier watering hole for white nationalists and neo-Nazis everywhere. It is also, apparently, full of soon-to-be White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon’s very biggest fans.

Politics

Trump's Transition Team Is Just Now Learning What A President Does

Ashley Feinberg
11/14/16 11:56am
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It’d be an understatement to say that Donald Trump isn’t exactly prepared for the task at hand. And we already know that he “didn’t want to jinx himself” with too much preparation pre-win. According to a source closely connected to the Trump transition team, though, the reality of the situation is worse than we might…

Politics

Donald Trump Names His Most Racist-Friendly Advisor To Be Chief White House Strategist

Ashley Feinberg
11/13/16 6:26pm
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For anyone who voted for Donald Trump hoping that, once safely in office, he would begin a move towards respectability and away from the white-supremacist leanings that won him the highest office in the land: I’m sorry, dear reader, but you have been played.

Politics

Donald Trump Doesn't Like This Any More Than You Do

Ashley Feinberg
11/11/16 12:19pm
2K198
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Donald Trump does not want to be the president.

Politics

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Ashley Feinberg
11/10/16 1:02pm
89450
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Earlier this morning, Ku Klux Klan-endorsed President-elect Donald Trump met with President Obama in the Oval Office to discuss the self-proclaimed sexual assault-enthusiast’s coming ascension.

This Isn't Fun Anymore

Ashley Feinberg
11/08/16 10:19pm
1.1K177
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As I type this, a man who called Mexicans rapists, mocked a reporter’s physical disability, bragged about committing sexual assault, and wants to ban an entire religious group from entering the country is leading Hillary Clinton by 150 electoral votes to 109. I feel physically ill.

Politics

Marco Rubio Wins Steady Paycheck In Lead-Up To 2020 Loss

Ashley Feinberg
11/08/16 8:39pm
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Unfortunately for Marco Rubio, he’s projected to win his race for the Senate in Florida. A win that, even more unfortunately for the American people, means four more years of dealing with Marco Rubio.

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