“The internet is going crazy over this insane optical illusion.” It’s the sentence that’s started a million blogs in the past and will continue to start a million blogs in the future—and for good reason. Because where the fuck are this girl’s legs?

There’s never exactly a good time to be Ted Cruz. His mannerisms are stilted, his friends are nonexistent, and he has far more skin than any one human should ever possess. There are, however, less-bad times to be Ted. And 2016 was not one of those years.

These are the good tweets:

Donald Trump Jr., an avid hunter and even more avid hunting message board user, will officially be taking over the family business come inauguration day. This means that there’s absolutely no world in which Don Jr. should be meddling in his father’s pending presidency whatsoever. Except, apparently, for the world in…

Rick Perry, a swaggering idiot who found a pair of glasses on the street one day, is about to become the head of the Department of Energy, according to CBS News. The Department of Energy’s job right now is to develop the next generation of nuclear weapons. What this means practically speaking, of course, is that we…

Donald Trump, who will be spending the next four years traveling around the country doing stand-up, took some time today to give his hungry constituents what they crave: good, clean observational humor.

HBO’s Westworld, the haunting tale of what can happen when cowboy sex robots go awry, spent its first season unwrapping many of the mysteries that so captivated its audience—save, that is, the question that has tormented fans most of all. And that’s apparently exactly how HBO wants it.

Earlier today, during a casual run-in with reporters, Ted Cruz apparently decided that we have yet to be sufficiently punished for our collective misdeeds. To rectify the situation, Ted Cruz talked about how much he enjoys dribbling queso down his flesh-mask’s mottled chin.

If you tuned in to CNN earlier today, you might have found yourself greeted by a chyron that could have been ripped straight out of a Newt Gingrich Nazi fanfic: Alt-Right Founder Questions If Jews Are People. The real question, of course, is whether our president-elect should distance himself from an explicit group of…

Donald Trump is about to be president, a white nationalist is whispering in his ear, and Jeff “The Ku Klux Klan Is Alright By Me” Sessions will soon be our attorney general. We are entering a golden age for racists in America. And according to my inbox, these assholes know it.

Since its founding by a former Ku Klux Klan leader in 1996, Stormfront has been the internet’s premier watering hole for white nationalists and neo-Nazis everywhere. It is also, apparently, full of soon-to-be White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon’s very biggest fans.

It’d be an understatement to say that Donald Trump isn’t exactly prepared for the task at hand. And we already know that he “didn’t want to jinx himself” with too much preparation pre-win. According to a source closely connected to the Trump transition team, though, the reality of the situation is worse than we might…

For anyone who voted for Donald Trump hoping that, once safely in office, he would begin a move towards respectability and away from the white-supremacist leanings that won him the highest office in the land: I’m sorry, dear reader, but you have been played.

Donald Trump does not want to be the president.

Earlier this morning, Ku Klux Klan-endorsed President-elect Donald Trump met with President Obama in the Oval Office to discuss the self-proclaimed sexual assault-enthusiast’s coming ascension.

As I type this, a man who called Mexicans rapists, mocked a reporter’s physical disability, bragged about committing sexual assault, and wants to ban an entire religious group from entering the country is leading Hillary Clinton by 150 electoral votes to 109. I feel physically ill.

Unfortunately for Marco Rubio, he’s projected to win his race for the Senate in Florida. A win that, even more unfortunately for the American people, means four more years of dealing with Marco Rubio.