Sean Spicer, Remember When You Were Happy?
White House press secretary and noted gumboy Sean Spicer hasn’t been having a very good time. Melania (allegedly) hates him, he’s mocked mercilessly, Trump probably wants to fire him, and most recently, the devout Catholic didn’t even get to meet the Pope. But it wasn’t always this way. There was a time Sean had…
Rudy Giuliani Forgot 9/11('s Effect on Commercial Air Travel)
Yesterday morning, Rudy Giuliani—America’s mayor, Donald Trump’s current cybersecurity advisor, and a race-baiting thug most famous for being circumstantially tied to a great tragedy—had a little dust-up with the TSA while making his way through Newark airport. Apparently, the former mayor who famously saw his city…
On Trump's First 100 Days
Not ideal.
Jason Chaffetz Is Maybe Considering Running for President in 2028
Earlier today, House Oversight Committee Chairman and Benghazi enthusiast Jason Chaffetz announced that he would not seek reelection to public office in 2018. While this is surely a blow to fans of incompetent investigations and ineffectual letter writing, the Chaffetz-heads out there need not worry quite yet. Because…
What Is Rep. Duncan Hunter Up to on the World Wide Web?
On March 28, 265 members of Congress voted to repeal a set of Obama-era privacy rules that would have stopped internet service providers (ISPs) from selling your browsing data to advertisers without your consent. Popular arguments against this rule change include “protecting privacy” and “respecting consumers.”…
This Is Almost Certainly James Comey’s Twitter Account
Digital security and its discontents—from Hillary Clinton’s emails to ransomware to Tor hacks—is in many ways one of the chief concerns of the contemporary FBI. So it makes sense that the bureau’s director, James Comey, would dip his toe into the digital torrent with a Twitter account. It also makes sense, given…
Hacked Texts Suggest Manafort Continued to Play a Role After Departing Trump Campaign
As the investigation into the Trump campaign’s contacts with Russian intelligence services heats up, the White House has launched what appears to be a concerted effort to minimize the role that Paul Manafort—the former Trump campaign chairman with a long history of ties to allies of Russian president Vladimir…
Here Are Some Photographs of Donald Trump's Face and Hand
Today, Donald Trump held a listening session on healthcare. As everyone has only just recently learned, healthcare is actually very complicated. Who knew? (No one.) And because President Trump was discussing such a complicated topic, he repeatedly placed his hand on and around his face in consternation. Here are some…
Lorde Is At Least 40 Years Old, According To My Research
Kiwi songstress Lorde claims to have been born in 1996. This would make the singer-songwriter 20 years old. Her latest video, however, presents us with an alternative set of facts. That’s right: according to my research, Lorde is 40.
Trump Takes the Only Thing Ted Cruz Has Left: His Precious Soup
Earlier today, Donald Trump met with two dozen manufacturing CEOs to talk about things that have to do with manufacturing, probably. But as soon as the CEO of Campbell’s introduced herself, Trump seized on the opportunity to take away perhaps the only thing Ted Cruz has ever loved—his beloved Campbell’s Chunky™ Soup.
Happy Anniversary to the Only Good Thing That Happened This Election
Remember when things were fun? I sort of can if I push all my anxieties way down and try to pretend like reality is a dream. So let’s do that now. Because as of yesterday, it has officially been one year since the single greatest two minutes of the entire election: Ben Carson’s big walkout disaster.
What Would It Look Like, Hypothetically, If A Public Figure Were Suffering The Symptoms Of Dementia?
Ronald Reagan was 69 years old at his inauguration as president in 1981, the oldest anyone had ever been on taking the office—a record that Donald Trump recently beat when he was inaugurated at age 70. Beset by concerns about his advanced age from the beginning, Reagan was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease after he…
Melania Trump Definitely Loves Her Husband and Is Very Happy to Be Here
Remember the inauguration? That was fun, wasn’t it? We all had a very nice and good time welcoming in our new president, Donald J. Trump. But of all the many, many happy people in attendance, no one was happier to be there than his loving wife who certainly does not hate him, Melania Knauss Trump.
Send Us Proof Of Ted Cruz Playing Basketball
Here at Deadspin.com, there’s nothing we love more than sport. So we were delighted to learn that perpetual failed candidate for president Ted Cruz started a weekly Senate basketball game in hopes of making his colleagues hate him less. Which is great for Ted Cruz, but doesn’t do much for us. We want to right this…
At the Last Minute, Trump Asks Nuclear Safety Administrator to Stick Around After All
After weeks of silence and uncertainty, the agency responsible for ensuring the safety of our nuclear arsenal finally has an answer to the question of who exactly is in charge under President Trump. Last night, just hours before Trump was to be sworn in, his transition team finally asked Under Secretary for Nuclear…
Senator Urges Trump Not to Let Nuclear Security Agency Go Leaderless
A United States senator on the Armed Services Committee is calling on the Trump transition team not to let the National Nuclear Security Administration, which manages the safety of the nation’s nuclear arsenal, go leaderless after this Friday.
Trump Is Letting Go the People in Charge of Maintaining Our Nuclear Arsenal [Updated]
Between the Trump transition team’s infighting, incompetence, and high-profile resignations, any decisions that signaled even a modicum of stability for the country would come as a relief at this point. Unfortunately, the nascent Trump Administration isn’t inclined to calm anyone’s nerves. According to an official…