I came here to say that but you beat me to it!

I don’t think it’s “normal” or “decent” to try to get someone drunker than they might want to be without their knowledge. Not a “funny prank” to play on a potentially pregnant woman, or someone on medication, or the night’s designated driver...

No! See it was a joke! You thought you were drinking a non-alcoholic beverage haha cause you’re an alcoholic haha and your dad drank himself to death haha and you’re trying to stay sober. But I put rum in the drink there when you went to the bathroom haha. And then you didn’t know you were drunk so you drove home and…

That’s fantastic!! We got ours in May and she made our lives so much better!!

My little brother beasts are NOT self-sufficient. The second I sit down both of them are gargoyling on me somewhere. Adorable until I’m trying to get homework done. Here is a picture of both of them on my leg at once:

All the other pumpkins got eaten by bears?

“many patients would also benefit from enhancing the outer lips with fat grafting” - really? Surely they mean “many surgeons are prepared to undertake this painful, unnecessary and risky surgery to benefit their own bank balances.”

Still would.

I agree with you on this one for writing (though I prefer the blue ones).

I agree with you on this one for writing (though I prefer the blue ones).

Giant Talking Corn

Naranja. Dude needs to lay off the spray tan, plus (like El Jefe) it would piss him off.

Huevón

Kites are the worst. Sometimes I wish I could just clip all their strings.

I had to google this bloke and now I am accusing you of humblebragging! No wait that’s just straight up bragging ;)

NO. Princess Sofia is pregnant. They are both expecting a baby, but unless Prince Carl Phillip has some incredibly rare biological abnormalities, he is definitely not pregnant.

I saw a bicyclist roll a stop sign and a car roll a stop sign and a pedestrian jaywalk. Everyone stay home always.

My oldest son is about Matt Damon’s age and it’s been a joke in our family for a long time that they’re brothers from different mothers — strong physical resemblance. This just makes me want to smack Matt Damon and tell him I raised him to be better than this.

Yes thank you! I am a big supporter of the Idaho stop and I do it in less crowded areas.

Yeah, I’m constantly conscious of my mortality when I’m on a bike—with cars cutting me off, zooming past me half an inch away, totally unaware of my existence. Just from a self-preservation perspective, I cannot understand the tendency of some cyclists to just ride straight though lights, even weaving between moving…

Educate yourself, yo. Yes, cyclists who blow through red lights are shitty and dangerous, but there is a good reason why cyclists push for laws that allow them to do rolling stops (rather than have to come to a complete stop) at stop signs—it’s call the “Idaho Stop,” and it’s because PHYSICS.