I made a sticker for Ryan:

My skin rebelled against too much product at age 49. Soon she’ll be in the Cetaphil/Cerave club with the rest of us old biddies.

I’ve been binge-watching Harlots and just last night I was wondering what her age was. She’s 42 and in Harlots she looks it.

That’s a real good 42. And skincare is fun, if I could afford it I’d have all these potions :). I love the ritual AND the slight slight slight reduction of fine lines and wrinkles that I think I see. I also like telling my boyfriend that my face is covered in literal acid. YMMV!

I really, really do want to silence him, though.

Who needs hamburgers anymore? We’re practically swimming in hamberders and covfefe!

5-2: stroke.

I know I shouldn’t be surprised but since when does People report on the likes of Toothpaste Lapdance?

My pet peeve is when so-and-so celebrity “opened up about” incredibly mundane topic

Sell tickets.

I’ll see you in jail after my killing spree where I target people that say “gifted.”

Thank you, please do. 

To be fair, wasn’t there a time where this was the look for implants? 

She knows her audience

Her new boyfriend is GOD.  Didn’t you read the article? /s

This. Serena Joy was evil, but competent evil, even if a bit blind to how achieving her dreams would impact herself.

Three times! In one tweet! I figure you’d say “kids” just to stay within the character limit. 

The monstrousness is compounded by referring to oneself as “mama bear.”

Co-signed. Also, add “littles”. 

also see: Momma Bear