Wow, that’s weird. She’s usually much more informed about medical issues.

Nope. And I’d bang the Situation like a storm door in a hurricane, so, you know, skeezy dickhead-types are a weird thing for me.

Whoops, thought I was replying to someone else.

This is what happens when you elect a Hufflepuff to Parliament.

I swear there’s a weird correlation between mean girls and the inability to punctuate properly.

So succinctly put.

“...less likely to find [parenting] always enjoyable and rewarding.”

That sounds like something my husband would say to me, and then we’d both crack up laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of it.

It sounds like it came from “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

You do. It’s why I’ve been trying to seduce you for years.

“I’ve been trying to seduce Anna for years, and she resisted me valiantly.”

Farrah, in what reality is a cropped purple halter top and sarong skirt “fall fashion”?

Because it gives people the long-awaited opportunity to be deeply, deeply shitty to another person and, if called on it, pretend that your only concern is “for the health of the baby”?

The man has worn a fedora since before the eighties. I’m telling you, all the crazy, freaky-ass dream sex in the world is not worth it.

Yeah, Freddy Krueger is definitely that guy that, if you let him hit it once, you’d never get rid of him.

I mean, if Best Buy’s intent was to convey to their potential customers “Don’t worry, we will help you buy your child’s achievements in life regardless of merit or hard work!” then 1) mission accomplished, and 2) they are, sadly, quite likely right on track with this.

You know what? If you want to be abstinent till marriage, go for it. Do you.

Also: “I’ve matured a lot since my twenties, and definitely feel like I have a much better grasp of what constitutes a healthy relationship.”

Resplendent.husband and I were just having a conversation the other day about how foreign our lives now would look to our twenty-something selves.

A “reasonable eight-year-old” wants ice cream for dinner and a water slide in his room.