Because if I don't laugh I'll cry.

It’s like all these people had brain abortions, and they seem fine with that.

This is what happens when you start tolerating people’s religious beliefs. We had this brand of religious nutcase on the ropes in the 1990s and early 00s, then we had to start going around respecting their ability to believe such bullshit (and attacking the militant atheists who came so close to putting them down for…

I took my engagement ring to Kay for a cleaning, and when I got it back, it was a Jane Seymour Tits & Ass pendant.

Jeepers, sheikers, look at all these FUCKING CREEPERS.

You know you’ve entered uncharted territory when Heidi Pratt looks like the sanest person in the room.

Spending $21k on a ring at Kay Jewelers is like buying a fois-gras-caviar-wagyu burger from White Castle.

Also: their stuff is serious fug.

If you had $21,000+ to spend on a ring, is Kay Jewelers really your jeweler of choice...?! I’ve never heard good things about their quality, and if you’re making that kind of financial investment, I’d think you would get a much more unique and well-made product if you went to an independent jeweler, not a chain. Or if…

Every piss begins with P, but you don’t see me clogging up the airwaves with commercials about it.

her custom-designed Kay Jewelers ring, worth more than $21,000.

every grift begins with kay.

Did you first think Prince was gay?

How humorless and insufferable she must have been.

Am I the only one who wanted Jane to make a marriage of convenience and go adventuring [fine, missionarying, whatever—details] in tropical climes?

They’re never going away, are they?

So they’re admitting fault in paying the $2.2mil fine to the government...what are they paying to the families that had their loved ones private medical care shown on TV without permission? The fine should go to the family, not the government, as they were the ones affected by this.

Outside of maybe working on camera in porn, no line of work takes more off of a human being’s life expectancy than being a professional wrestler.

Chyna always seemed like someone who got chewed up by the system and then was left to deal with the aftermath on her own. If her time in the business had come a little earlier or a bit later, she probably would have gone down as one of the legends of pro wrestling, but she hit at probably the worst possible moment,…

And this warning may apply to all aspects of a home diy. Old homes were built using lead pipes, asbestos insulation, asbestos tiles and probably contain mold so please do your own homework before starting any DIY project.