I’m always a little underwhelmed when I see rich people jewelry. I mean, yeah, it's big and sparkly, but for that much money, shouldn't it look like something other than a bigger version of a ring I can get at Zales?

By ‘meditate,’ do you mean, ‘stagger into the kitchen and make coffee immediately, because FUCK YOU, I NEED COFFEE’?

“The AJC story about the Crosswhites wedding has been corrected to reflect that her family doesn’t attend Confederate flag rallies, just her friends.”

Oh, he’s on the run, and his life as he knows it is pretty much over?

Okay, so Oklahoma now has the trashiest governor’s mansion in the nation. But on the bright side, we can now lay claim to having the classiest trailer park.

She’s really just badly written. I’m not even sure exactly what she’s angry with Ray about? Killing her rapist? Maybe?

I think that there's a lot to be said for your alternative interpretation of these findings.

No mention of the fact that both males and females are happier when they’re about to land on a dick?

All the internets, they are belong to you.

I find “Homo Lobby” to be a welcome alternative to shopping at Hobby Lobby. I bet their crafting supplies are better too.

At a certain point of drunk, I have to eat just to keep my stomach from revolting, so if I end up drinking more than I intended... I end up eating more than I intended.

I’m a super happy, super social drunk, but... I also lose my inside voice. Completely. People across the bar can hear me. People across town can probably hear me. So... Nutty Poppins?

I think that being “bad for feminism and destructive to the cause” is maybe giving your friend who disappears whenever she gets a boyfriend too much power.

I kinda like it, too!

Who the fuck gets hung up about a hostess gift? I don’t think I’ve ever gotten one, and I’ve hosted any number of gatherings and get-togethers.

I refuse to believe that this is a real person, and not a conglomeration of stereotypes that has gained sentience.

“Bindler has a master’s in spiritual psychology from the University of Santa Monica and spent the early part of her career as an editor of a yoga magazine.”

I mean, they made sure to be born straight, middle-class and white. Is it their fault not that not everyone is as responsible as they are?

I find it rich that the same people who complain about lazy people on welfare are the ones refusing to, you know, actually do their jobs.

This woman is crazy beautiful.