My take-away: Steve Hickey wants eight of his male friends to cram door knobs in his pooper.

Oh, God, I'm so sorry to hear that. Have you looked into prosthetics?

Oh, God. Have people not been _literally_ rolling around on the floor all these years? I feel so disillusioned.

Let's be honest - the fake laugh is a social lubricant. Because elsewise, we're left with this response, which can get ... awkward....

Tracy, you can't tease us with the knowledge of how to gauge whether or not a comete stranger is wearing a $300 t-shirt and then _not tell us_.

Does your mother know that you're on the Internet before your homework is finished?

Thank you. This is literally the stupidest use of the word "homophobic" that I have ever seen, and frankly, I think it speaks more about the author than the subject of this article.

Really? Being groped by a masturbating stranger is _fucking sexual assault_. I fail to see how the victim's reaction was "disproportionate."

She looks beautiful. I cannot imagine the nightmare of all the dumb shit I did and all the dicks I sucked in my twenties becoming national news. I hope she has been able to find peace.

Goddammit, I wish this were an Onion article.

I'll give it a listen! I know he has his limitations, but I really like Dan Savage!

Seriously. Why do religious conservatives have to be so in-your-face with their sexuality? Can't they just be religious and conservative in private?

I'll be honest; I'll buy your album, but I'm only gonna listen to like, the first twenty minutes or so.

Oh, God. Please accept my apology pug.

This is obviously the premise for a great episode of 'My Name Is Earl.'

Ditto. I have no interest in being jack-hammered into the ground by All-Day Jay.

Can we get a round up of the most oblivious/entitled comments on these stories asking "But what about the time I had to wait TEN MINUTES for my iced tea refill??? IT WAS LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A SAW MOVIE!!! What about meeeeeeeee?!?!?"

thank you!

I found out in the hospital after giving birth. In my state (Oklahoma), they draw blood and screen for a number of diseases and conditions. After both boys were born (18 months apart) hospital personnel came back and told me "You have no measles immunity" and vaccinated me. I have always had all vaccines and boosters…