... But really, you guys, isn't James Deen everyone's boyfriend?

For real. resplendent.stepson's mom was kind of passive-aggressive about the holidays, but Brandi Glanville reminds that comparatively speaking, I've hit the goddamn lottery.

I cannot wait for the tell-all biography those girl are going to write in five years.

This... actually sounds kind of cool.

Vendetta was my first thought as well. It looks to me like the prosecutor's office is embarrassed that their racism is exposed and is desperately trying to prove that this woman is, in fact, a criminal menace.

Bikini Bridge is so last week, you guys. The next big thing in Thinspo is obviously Elbow Macaroni, which, for those of you who don't know, is there the points of your elbows are perfectly round, and covered in orange cheddar cheese sauce.

Oh, God, the answer to Letter Number 3 was sensitive and beautifully written. It's, like, raining on my face, you guys.

Oh, God, the answer to Letter Number 3 was sensitive and beautifully written. It's, like, raining on my face, you guys.

Oh, God, the answer to Letter Number 3 was sensitive and beautifully written. It's, like, raining on my face, you guys.

For real. Is there any other possible response besides "Oh, Honey. You shouldn't have ."

For real. Is there any other possible response besides "Oh, Honey. You shouldn't have ."

Ugh, the "thank you" necklace - the execution is as tacky as the sentiment.

You guys. Seriously. How else are they going to finally get that bullshit "50% of all rape allegations are false," statistic they keep touting if they don't go out there and start supplying some false rape accusations?

Oh, Jesus Christ, you guys - Camille Paglia has turned into our crotchety lesbian grandpa, smoking cigars and drinking scotch and launching into awkward, semi-coherent rants about 'ethnic' people and Mamie Van Dorn's sweaters. Can someone please assist Ms. Paglia into the recliner and turn on 'The Price is Right'?

This is literally the only fetus I'd entrust him with... Though to be honest, I still have some reservations.

Better late than never?!?!??!!!!! Why is the feminist answer to everything always ABORTION!?!?!?

Well, they both look weird and off-putting, but there's something sad and unnerving about the vacant, dead-inside stare of the on the left.

Wow. I won't even touch the horrifyingly problematic implications of comparing Polly Pocket, and uh, racism.

Weird. I've always found a short man with a Napoleon complex incredibly hot.*

Frankly, given that Britney Spears already has two children, her lack of insight on parenting is sad. I hope she has several qualified and capable people around her caring for her sons.