She looks like the only one of these chicks that I'd want to hang with.

Exactly this.

In my experience, describing someone as "needy" is used as a form of gas-lighting - a way of reframing reasonable requests and expectations as unhealthy and excessive.

Unfortunately not, as the NFL has yet to come up with a better marketing strategy for selling bedazzled, tacky pink shit with NFL logos on it to the middle-aged wives of its fan base.

Ok, fine, Sandwichez Guy. Here are my suggestions for how you should propose:

If this is anything like media health piecess about the risks of drinking coffee and eating eggs, I give it three weeks before we deluged with stories saying "It turns out being Fit and Fat is GREAT for you!!!!Eleven!"

Exactly. If I had a dollar for every friend of mine that I'd be willing to bang, I'd have... Wait, how many friends do I have again?....

As our Lord and Savior said, "Let he who has never turned on an episode of Blue's Clues for two toddlers while pouring an afternoon Chardonnay cast the first stone."

I feel you. I had to fight for joint custody of my kids after my dead-beat ex-husband accused me of abusing drugs in our divorce.

It it too late to get on the spreadsheet? I have a grounds crew come in once a month to sculpt my bush into a 3-D animal-shaped pubic topiary. December means reindeer and Christmas lights!

It it too late to get on the spreadsheet? I have a grounds crew come in once a month to sculpt my bush into a 3-D animal-shaped pubic topiary. December means reindeer and Christmas lights!

Oh, hai! You're a woman on the internetz - that means it's open season for people who are, ahem, totally hot and successful doctor/supermodel/astronauts with engaging and fulfilling lives to tear down and criticize every real and perceived facet of your existence! Because they're being helpful! And totally not because…

Southern Methodist University, or Sons of Millionaires University, as it's known in these parts, is a private school catering to the reasonably well-to-do. With this in mind, I propose the following modification to this thesis: