Cher, you are a national treasure.

Cher, you are a national treasure.

I 'shop' Pinterest. Having boards full of beautiful clothes and home accessories that I've pinned feels oddly satisfying, and helps keep the 'acquisition' urge at bay.

Oh, hai, I see you know my ex-husband.

Is it wrong that I kind of loved this guy? The big, doofy grin was too stupid to be mad at....

I can't even be mad at guys for skipping out on showers (bridal and Baby). They're horrible.

Up top, Brah!

Yup. Nice girls get the nice flowers. Slutty sluts slutting it up get day-old filler flowers because This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things.

Because sluts, Sorcia. Because sluts.

You know, my first thought, when I saw the headline was "Oh shit, some poor manager who was trying to do a nice thing to help needy employees (albeit in a dumb way) is gonna get canned by corporate now that this is news."

That our virginity was a grocery store carnation, and if we gave it to someone before we were married, all the petals would get ripped off and the stem would be kind of bent, and no one would ever want to marry our limp and scraggly, petal-less asses.

I tell my friend that "being vegetarian and I are in an open relationship." It makes people laugh, and then if someone sees you with a cheeseburger later, it's no biggie.

Not sure yet, but I've had this first pair for about a week, though they're starting to show some wear and tear.

Daily wear. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to tolerate them all day, but I got used to them pretty quickly.

Not gonna lie, you guys, I started wearing false eyelashes when I went dark brunette with a pixie cut, and I luhv them.

For reals. Girlfriend needs extensive therapy.