Oh, God, this woman sounds tedious.

Abstinence only education, everybody!

Exactly. It's like the church youth group leader turning his chair around backwards to relate to us kids about sex and peer pressure.

Gawd. Republican attempts to meme remind me of high school guidance counselors attempting to be cool.

I'm a tequila girl, myself, though I acknowledge it's not compatible with everyone.

Yup. Post-roller derby practice pub crawls were an exercise in futility.

Also drink your liquor neat or on the rocks. The sugary, neon-colored shit in cocktails and mixed drinks is almost as bad for you as the alcohol.*

I was just about to say that the only thing missing from this list was "Hit the gym on the regular."

The only other one I've heard is because "marriage is for making BEHBEZ!"

Me, too!

Another day, another creepy Republican politician caught in a compromising position. I give it a week before Paul Ryan apologizes for his "momentary lapse," thanks his wife for her support and announces that he'll be avoiding outdoor and watersport activities and is seeking counseling with his family pastor to work on…

As a parent, I don't understand how parents of asshole kids stand it. I mean, furthering polite society and learning to be a reasonable person is all well and good, but if I'm being honest, my primary motivation for teaching my kids not to be assholes is because I have to live with them.

"Taylor Swift is the whorish face of doomed America."

"The people have spoken... Fuck them."

The little resplendent bastards spent ages four to seven in ratty Spider-Man costumes I had to forcibly remove in order to bathe them at night. _That_ was mostly them.

I consider myself an enlightened, sex-positive person, but... not gonna lie: the phrase "the seduction community" just sounds so... creepy.

Exactly this. If we're asking people who they might hypothetically have an affair with, everyone's list is going to be full of gorgeous people. Just like my Pinterist board is full of beautiful cakes and salvaged wood coffee tables I'd like to hypothetically make one day. Both exist in a fantasy world and have no…

"Let she who has never slept with an adult man in a furry top hat cast the first stone..."

Oh, you. *blush*

I'm always _so_ tempted (but have never yet been ballsy enough) to gift the newlyweds with something hideous and unreturnable. Estate sale velvet paintings of clowns come to mind.