Congratulations, Sorcia McNasty: Evil Genius, and Leucadia!

That is awesome. And now I want to be raised by packs of wolves and fairies. Or wolf-fairies! Furry, feral, ferocious winged creatures with wants and little crowns!

Ugh. Why have the most reactionary, pearl-clutching busy-bodies seized hold of "family friendly" like it's the last piece of pizza at the picnic? There are plenty of families who are not be offended, or even phased, by the existence of trans people.

Oh, I have a guy for that. He's an artist.

Congratulations, SkaHimself! Have an MMA cake for 2 #cotds in one week!

Congratulations, suiterkin! Great #cotd!

Congratulations, SkaHimself! You never fail to amaze!

Congratulations, MissNThorpe! Have a greek god cake to go with your divine #cotd!

Congratulations, ThisLittlePiggy! Have a Jay Leno pastry pop on a stick!

Congratulations, Donovanesque!

Congratulations, spezek! Have a penis-in-a-tuxedo cake!

Yay! #COTD penis cookies are awesome!

Yes, Kate, you keep pushing those kids in front of TV cameras. Someday, they may achieve the heights of personal accomplishment reached by Snooki and the Situation. Who doesn't want that for their kids?

Oh, you're so hearted for that one!

Unfortunately, not every drug is a good trip, my friend.

So... bacon at two out of three daily meals, and booze at all of them? Man, the 1950's were a helluva drug.

Congratulations, ScoobyChip and OriginalCajun! You win this adorable policecake, who will happily file your false reports all day long! Great job!

Ryan, if you're really worried about letting me down, I've got three little words to make it all better: Lift the TRO.

I've hearted you so many times in my head!

Yup, I would second that blueballs are not a myth. Not because I have balls, but because during one particularly extended and athletic sexytimes, I kept delaying my orgasm because I was enjoying all the lead up to it so much. And then at one point, instead of an orgasm, it was... indescribable achiness and…