I don't know if there will ever be a male birth control, but I do know this for sure: if there ever is one, it will be approved and covered by all major insurance plans inside of five minutes, meanwhile, female birth control, which has been around since the '60's, will still be something those slutty whore women…

*Sigh*... Well, there's a reason they call it Flori-duh.

First the pressure to get married, then the pressure to have kids! Soon NO ONE will be able to have nice things!

Awesome job, jezzies! Have an organic baby diaper cake!

What will those fucking hipsters think of next?

I'ma have to make me one of those.

No, goddammit. If you're not going to use Isaiah Mustafa, then you bring back Bruce Campbell right fucking now, Old Spice!

Good show, mordacai, old chap! Have some house of parliament cake!

I Know, Nadia. It's just like when I eat, like, way too much candy and then I feel sick and I'm like "Ugh, I don't even like candy. I won't do that again soon" and... Oh wait. It isn't like that at all.

Congratulations, Clare116! Have some break-up cake!

Ugh Qream sounds like some kind of foot cream my Nana would use that comes in a tin and smells and looks foul but totally works.

+1.

Ugh. He does seem like he's totally that guy, doesn't he?

But Dave and Chantal are still having their 'Trail of Tears'-themed baby shower, right?

This is so perfect.

And a tip of the hat to Gravitron1066! None of these nice Sihks could agree on what kind of cake you should get, so they all made one.

Congratulations, Vitajex! Have a Brangelina cake!

I know, right? Now they'll never get in to college.

I find that the parents of said baby are usually a pretty good indicator. Sparkly 'MILF' shirt and a douchey brohawk? They're gestating a future asshole.

Congratulations, DrunkenExPatWriter! Feel free to circumcise yourself a piece of cake!