>the same way my brother thinks women shouldn’t pursue Ivy League educations<

To the folks that spout natural, I always point out that asbestos is natural, as is arsenic...

I miss Sally Draper the most.

If your body is loaded with toxins, then you’d be dead, and I’d be wondering why you’re spending so much time at Chernobyl. Also toxins are found in nature so be careful with that “all natural” kick!

Convert Saks to a prison. Send all rich people there. Tell them it’s Wellness Camp.

If you’re voting for a Sex and the City character, Miranda seems like the most practical choice. She’s a lawyer, she’s no-nonsense. I refuse to believe Cynthia Nixon is not actually Miranda Hobbes.

Damn, that sounds awful. A friend told me about her family’s incontinent dog; she sprays diarrhea every time she barks, which is at every noise. They have to keep sheets on all the furniture to protect whatever direction she’s facing away from when she barks.

A friend of a friend is a Republican staffer who works in the White House. Apparently, Trump genuinely believed (and refused to believe staffers when they told him it wasn’t true) that Mexico is in South America.

I do not know if you heard, but with Cuba, I had 84 percent, with the Cuban-American vote. But overall generally, I had well over 30 percent and everyone was shocked to see this. I understand the community and they understand me, and I have a great respect for the Mexican people.”

I didn’t know this. But now i want to start printing cardboard cutouts of mark cuban, and start going to public events where trump speaks.

Jaden’s secondary lawsuit is with the “Just”ice department.

Did this dim-witted shitbird get a rooster without ever, like, reading about roosters? “This stupid rooster won’t even play fetch and is useless when I take him duck hunting!”

I have this ONE patch of hair around my ankle that hasn’t been shaved since 7th grade. I’ve tried everything but I’m convinced there is an invisible force field protecting it.

I wonder what happens to your teeth when you go that long without chewing?

People’s article quotes a dietician/nutritionist who previously stated, “The best types of detoxes...

YES THANK YOU

Reince should txt him to say, “Congratulations, I’ll pray for your child.”

This administration is a disaster. It’s a disaster for a whole host of reasons, of course, but just operationally, it’s a disaster because no one knows how to run a government.

Well at least he still has that divorce to look forward to.

Without any hard data indicating that “if it weren’t for the pro-choice stance, I would vote democrat” is a significant voting block, this is one of the dumbest fucking things ever.