He didn’t, it’s not shade. Quite the opposite in fact. He’s referring to that playboy interview 7 years ago (when he was 32), when he made those comments about sex with Jessica Simpson. He’s basically saying he learned his lesson on commenting about (sex with) his exes.

This reminds me of, years ago, a chart that tracked the dating/STD web of a certain celebutante and her circle of friends. It was complicated. And icky.

How is it possible for a 71 year old man to have ZERO social graces???

My favorite response to this story, from a Democratic Representative in Virginia:

I’d been dyeing my hair black for 10 years and then all of a sudden my head started blistering every time. Of course, me being the vain bitch I was I continued to suffer through a blistered head to have black hair for 5 years until this year. Now it’s grey hair don’t care! Yay!

You know what would help that mold problem?

I openly want the very worst, most tragic events real life can offer to dodge Mitch McConnell to his grave.

I first heard about this tradition a while ago, and I was never quite able to convince myself that it wasn’t a wee bit cannibalistic. Like, if you’re a vegetarian you don’t have the chicken stock. If you’re a non-cannibal, you don’t do shots of human-toe-infused liquor.

Hmmm. And where have you been this last week “paultoes”? If that is your real name...

You need a toe? Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon.... With nail polish.

I thought that was weird too, but I think it’s a clue that somewhere there’s a Democratic President right now. We just have to get to that timeline.

Jenny Slate must have a huge dick.

Well, I’m old enough to actually remember this, so here’s my few cents’ worth. On her escaping the death penalty, I’m sure her being white and female was part of it. Probably a big part. Another aspect is, she was killing babies and very young kids who were hospitalized and already unconscious or unable to know what…

I’m not sure which came first but I started noticing a bunch of drier, more interesting rosé around the time it started blowing up in popularity online (as opposed to sugar juice white zinfandel that I drink at my MIL/SIL’s houses). Did better options make more people like me start buying it? Or did better options…

don’t you have google?

She’s like the original AHCA

The rise of Instagram? It looks very pretty in a glass

Wait, is he literally boasting about obstruction/witness tampering/testimony influencing?

Ice in wine: yea or nay?

You’re lying. You’re outright lying. You contemptible little creature. Slither back into your sewer.