In early 2009, I made some automotive purchases that, in hindsight, were a very bad idea.

How do you know so much about our product dev process?

Dodge Magnum SRT-8. None of you fuckers bought one.

We’re good.

How many FCA cars? 4?

#hoganed

Dump? You’re going on the list.

Put it in “P” for Park Pre-Meditated Murder

Or, for a more subtle takeout. Give them a Dodge Journey and watch their will to live slowly drain away.

Good point.

Do you have the names of any good assassins?

I can assemble the worst people on earth to my beck and call.

Wow, look at GM and their big fancy lawyers and DCMA takedowns.

You have a PT cruiser?

Tempting, but the bean counters say no

Buy FCA

OR, just weld a bunch of steel to a used ram. $50K tops.

Don’t touch my hair. It’s a wig

No Dodge products?

Someone check David’s house.