My father won almost all the arguments, unfortunately. He probably doesn't remember it that way, though.

I just thought it was because everyone was drunk.

My mantra basically is that relationships have to be fair, but not necessarily equal. He's stuck up on X for X, tit-for-tat, and if you hold on too tightly to that mentality then you're going to end up resentful towards your partner in the end.

No one is obligated to justify why they won't do something sexually, regardless of whether it's traumatic (sexual abuse) or distaste. It just means there's a clear boundary that someone won't cross, and that's perfectly fine.

But do you honestly think if a guy publicized that he thinks cunnilingus is gross and won't do it, but requires that any woman he is seeing blow him, that he would get a supportive response?

If it's selfish for one side, then it's selfish for the other. Flipping the script doesn't make it any less so. It only makes one hypocritical. Feeling that one is entitled to have certain sex acts performed on them while refusing to give in return is one's prerogative, but people can and do have selfish prerogatives…

But that is NOT what she's doing. She's stating on principle that, because guys had been selfish to her in the past, she has determined that she will treat future partners in the same selfish way. And she's trying to find some convoluted logical contortion to make that not hypocritical and selfish, which just makes it…

Limits and how they're presented can be selfish but are not automatically selfish in all cases.

You don't seem to think that the guys that demanded oral sex but wouldn't return the favor were selfish. On that we have to disagree, I think they were. More to the point, SHE thinks they were.

She can want to peg me all she wants, but I don't want to be pegged. Because I have bodily autonomy I have every right not to be pegged. I also have no right to require that I be able to shove something up her backside. Do you disagree?

Of course it's selfish if she's demanding oral sex on her part. Just because you were treated like crap in a previous relationship doesn't give you the right to treat the next person like crap. If so, then I would have ever4y right to cheat on my girlfriend, cuz I was cheated on and didn't get my share in.

That example doesn't work because I'm talking about a situation in which everyone has their wants and needs met. You conveniently glossed over the part about not every guy enjoying blowjobs.

You comment is riddled with contradictions. First you say it's selfish, then you say it's fine. You say it's their prerogative and they need to find sexual compatibilities but then say it's asshole-ish behavior.

Reciprocity is not about everyone getting the same thing. It's about everyone being mutually satisfied. It's well within the realm of possibility for her to find a partner who enjoys giving oral but disdains or is indifferent to receiving it.

What about oral sex being different for women is so hard for you to understand?

Yes because the first place you would hear about alchemy being able to magically turn styrofoam into a metal would be on gizmodo to make a toy gun.

Nobody cares about your boner.

Straight men are trained and allowed to be sexually selfish. More power to this woman.

That's a really cool system! I dig it.

May I highly recommend to everyone: www.budgetbytes.com