Oh thank you! I love a good false equivalency! Are you kidding? This a forum for debate and discussion and sometimes that discussion gets heated. If you're going to leave ridiculous, rude comments directed at writers or your fellow commenters, you probably are going to have to face some blowback. Them's the breaks! I…

"On a semi-related note, I was able to talk a manager at KFC into honoring an expired coupon for a free pot pie yesterday. So we're all big winners at life this week!"

Could not be laughing any harder if I tried right now.

That poor cat. "TOO. MUCH. LOVE. STAHP."

Lime Jell-O and cottage cheese is known as "Aunt Daisy's salad" in my family, but I don't think I've ever figured out who Aunt Daisy might have been. As if it weren't already suspect enough on its own.

I don't know what it is, but there's something magical about that lime jello/cottage cheese/pineapple combination. My aunt makes a jello salad like that and it's inexplicably delicious. I could eat a big fucking bowl of that right now.

Lol, I think it's because I can handle squishy things and other squishy things in food. Hard things inside squishy things? No.

I had to share this to Groupthink because IT IS SO WONDERFUL.

Ask and you shall receive.

All of this Bey-Z drama has caused me to realize that I am way too invested in people whose music I don't care too much for, and whom I will never know personally.

Summary of most comments (that I can see, thanks nuKinja)

I am telling you, ALWAYS CHECK THE BATHROOM FOR SNAKES!

It's going down! Thank god Sollange is involved. It is our only hope to find out what really happened. She'll never be able to keep it hush hush.

Your kids are lucky to have a guide like you.

Even if you aren't Jezebel's favorite, you can totally be mine. You do have rum, no?

Fried egg makes anything better. True story.

Damn it! There is a candy shop that I go to (and was planning to go to later) that sells Jelly Bellies in bulk, separated into their individual flavours so that you can choose your own mix.

BEST COMMENT EVER.

I am miserable over the fact that Japanese McDonald's has an egg burger and American McDonald's doesn't.

You're a genius. Half the diners in America can execute this dish perfectly, and you are right that it's the perfect hangover food, combining all the necessary cravings into one delicious package. Seems like it should be entirely achievable for a fast food joint, as well.