Okay. You're the first self-identified organizer I have seen speaking about this.

You didn't know? You're Constitutionally obligated to care about everything if you show the slightest sign about caring for anything. Race is a thing we should be talking about and factoring in, for sure.

Dude, that was an honest question from a person who knows she's privileged and wanted a real explanation from someone who had personal experiences so she could better understand.

Thank you for explaining to me the thing that was incomprehensible before. Nobody had told me yet that it wasn't the majority. And thank you for having the clarity to know that you're not changing the world completely just by being there. You're definitely sparking a national conversation, but that's not quite the…

They microwave them to make them as un-egg-like as possible.

You, my friend, are not from a farm.

Yes. Yes, they do. I'm loving this thread because rarely does anyone ask questions about my job.

Then I'll tell you a secret. If you ask very nicely and slip the counter guy a couple of bucks, we will totally fry one for you. It's not cheap, but it's the thing you want when you're drunk, and then what's a couple of bucks? Seriously, if you're nice and it's dead and you're willing to make it up to me for the extra…

So now, I love you, because you managed a critique that did the thing it was supposed to. I only take issue with one part of your post.

I mostly feel like a terrible mother, because my kid is a contrary screamer. I don't blame her, she comes by it honestly. I'm a complete bitch and her dad is a metal dude, and we're both fairly selfish people who think the world should adjust itself to us. She's just not old enough yet to realize that crying isn't…

That...is why I don't go to gyms. I wasn't being snarky (okay, a little) and I am legitimately offended by microshorts. You see, I am afraid of balls. They are wrinkly and weird, and any body part that has independent movement is likely plotting against me. Seriously, they just. keep. moving. I've seen it. I'd rather…

Mr. Martini and I were just talking about Connery, so there's that.

You, my friend, are awesome.

It's okay. Over on Gawker I posted a comment about two hipster kids that were rude to me, and was immediately accused of being a "bitter old," with nothing after it to intimate that I was maybe an old person versus an old marmot or fencepost. Also, I apparently do not understand what the kids are up to these days, as…

Oh. Ouch. Yeah, that does.

Whilst living in West Virginia, I used to carry around a handout reminding that state's denizens that they are actually living in the only state formed specifically to join the North. That's why it's West Virginia. I left it with Confederate flag people.

Come on, guys. South Park did this one already, we just have to make a flag in which people of all colors are smiling and holding hands while getting lynched beneath a clear blue sky. Then it's both history and not racist.

You and Mr. Martini should talk. He picked up all sorts of helpful tips in the Corps about getting laid in such a way that your rackmate doesn't notice.

Have you read the Jon Ronson book on the topic? You should be careful, you have been granted great power with the Hare checklist. You, I trust with this.

Thanks! It's pretty new, year and a half.