I’ve got to deduct a point for not saying “loosers”.

These guys look old enough to have worked out whatever problem they had before it got to this stage.

wait until he learns that the Germans tore down a Russian-built wall

Going to C&C isn’t the problem. Leaving C&C is the problem.

Ugh. English. Now I see the problem without the commas: It’s ambiguous. I’d rewrite the headline. If you replace “Congressman” with “Rep. Al Green,” the commas belong. Or: Trump Supporters Threaten To Hang Congressperson “From a F***ing Tree” After He Calls for Trump’s Impeachment.

^ this tree fucks

Where’s police brutality when you need it?

No, you really don’t want the police being able to profit (even if it’s for charity) from seizure of provate property. That’s about the surest fire way down the path to corruption.

If I saw that goddamned bear looking through my door I’d be making brownies too.

“I’m Conrad motherfucking Hilton,”

George Foreman wouldn’t have had a problem.

I know! I’m exactly the same way. It’s so satisfying to be like “I need a deep 6 point 3/8" 12mm socket” and going to exactly where it should be and it being there

I swear to god a full 35% of my Saturdays and Sundays from like age 6 until I left the house was digging through boxes and buckets to find a goddamn tool my dad misplaced but crucially needed that very second. “No, not the 12 pt 9/16ths but the 6 pt.... also, deep well. But it could be metric.”

A see-through steel wall? Like...like a fence?

“give Americans a vice”

You know, I have ALSO heard that women get fewer black eyes if they just keep their damn mouths shut, too.

You should see their line of underwear...

The law was based on a legal precept called the “Castle Doctrine” which does not require a person with a gun to retreat in the face of danger, but most people know the law by its more famous nickname: Stand Your Ground.

“To be fair I hate potato salad and find all of it unacceptable”

I am legitimately not worried for MoMo. 12-year-old girls are mean as shit.