Cee-Whiz that thing’s cool!

Favorite catalogs of 1980s 10-year old boys, ranked:

As an amateur astronomer, I’m having the biggest boner looking at that night photo.

How did this man not possess the forearm strength to lift himself out of this predictament.

Since a drysuit typically costs 5-10x as much as a wetsuit, I’d have just let her buy it and moved on with my day.

Trump doesn’t want to see you. He doesn’t want your job. He doesn’t want you calling him. He broke up with America and it’s time that you let it go. He’s moving on with his life and your starting to look real stalker-ish with the amount of times you mention his name in interviews as if he’s still pinning away about…

She pulled vampire hunting duty tonight. She’s busy.

Hiding two feet seems to be a prerequisite for the industry.

Moonlight won the electoral college

When you have no good reason to handcuff a child, it’s not an arrest. It’s a kidnapping.

Maybe his wife, Incontinentia Buttocks, could participate too? 

I didn’t participate in that unholy poll but Biggus Dickus did.

Someone yelled “Irregardless is not a word!” at Mark Sanford at a town hall the other day and I felt warm inside in a way I haven’t since November 5th.

Let us remember this latest Bowling Green massacre.

The best thing you could do for American drivers would be to eliminate the “parking lights” option. I can’t tell you how many morons I see driving around with their PARKING lights on. At the very least, make it a hidden feature or something more complicated than turning on your headlights “half way”. Ugh.

Well those sucked.

Or destroying a Rush cover.