But working in one service industry doesn't mean that the person should be providing excellent customer service when off the clock and at completely different businesses.

Yeah, but what if you don't even fucking work there? Are you still obligated to be polite to stupid questions?

I went into Wegman's one day, in my work uniform (I look like Smokey Bear. It's kind of obvious), to pick something up for a work event.

This used to happen to me in target all the time. I guess I wear a lot of red.

My comment was a terrible joke based on grammar, taking its awfulness to Inception levels of stupidity. It was a joke based on you using "then" instead of "than."

This makes me fear for the gay male couples. Who will be their moral compass? Will they always fight about the big piece of chicken?

What IS it about the Sunday morning sex??? Goddamnit, work your weird religious guilt out on your own, I'm hungover and NOT in the mood to play s to your D right the fuck now.

Is only for very poor and very cold.

I do not understand this Amerikanski phrase, "clubbing."
Is riot move, perhaps? Am thinking only very poorest Americans "club,"
as guns are so cheap.

I don't know why - but the suggestion that I would eat raw biscuit dough is more offensive to me than anything Albert has ever said.

WORSE! HAIR IN HER ARMPIT!

Fair enough. They all don't work well. I just want to make sure you know that the point of the joke wasn't to mock native Hawaiians or their language, but to mock all the dumb justifications for ridiculous laws like these.

For a long time I thought the giant centipedes were the most fucked up thing about Hawaii, I really did have no idea until I spent a lot of time there.

But those centipedes are still near the top of the list.

This is also where I quietly point out all the graffiti on this statue

Oh, great. Now I want some homo milk.

I love how the one with the iPad is just like "OH GOD PLEASE LET NO ONE HAVE NOTICED."

Wine milkshake + buttered cinnamon rolls + bacon = a breakfast I could drag myself out of bed for

No, if you have to qualify it by calling it "X bacon," it isn't bacon. There is bacon, and there are ridiculous imitations. There is no Dana, there is only bacon.