I made fried chicken! And completely inauthentic pakoras! But I have to work this weekend. But I get to see my cat! My delicate mochi dumpling! So soft! So sweet! So hairy!

I’ve been daydreaming Perfect Bites and I’ve come up with a good one, vegetarian style: a spoon mounded with the succulent flesh found in a roasted Brussels sprout stem, a dot of sour cream, a frill of pickled beetroot, and a hot crag of pumpernickel crisped in garlicky butter. Share your own Perfect Bites, real or…

1. Earthworm jerky exists. I find this deeply unsettling.

I been lurking. Things of note: I still haven’t gotten a full time library job. I have moved in with my two best guy friends with MY OWN ROOM AND EVERYTHING. I joined Bumble because I had to. I went on a date with a human who didn’t curse literally at all. I thought that I didn’t have chemistry with him at all until…

I’m having the sad kitty special: a handful of arugula wilted in the microwave, a can of sardines, and a handful of triscuits. What is everyone having?

Yesterday, I was at a party and something caught my eye. I turned to look, and there is the human, with whom I’ve been engaging in a low key flirtation, fellating his beer bottle, and all I wanted to ask is, “how long have you been fellating that bottle before I noticed?”

I am taking all the chiz.

I am, I swear. It’s been pretty busy. I had a just in case job interview yesterday, I NEED to get all my shit packed to move out. I got a pretty new sword on Destiny so I need to curb my desire to play in favor of packing all my cookstuff and clothes and books. I joined Reddit so I can find a sexy chat partner cuz…

I tentatively have a full time job! My friend is librarian at ___ and is obligated to has assistant. Job place is funded quarterly, so I must wait til the next fiscal quarter but the big boss liked my interview and friend has made it explicit that she favors me for the post.

Is quick question before I go to sleep. Brand and flavor. Mine is Cape Cod original, followed by Lay’s Wasabi Ginger, and Grandma Utz, the ones fried in lard.

My paws are silky smooth and smell like chiz. I used a starter I bought online, went to the organic store where my friend works so I could get a discount on superhippie cream, then used an egg beater to overwhip the cream into butter. I warmed the whey with vinegar, and strained the coagulated curds using the same…

I shall have the world’s most moisturized butt hole. This post brought to you by charmin.

Sweet Jesus, people, how did a quick venting post blow up so fast? I get it, children as a concept is a huge thing in everyone’s life. And etiquette is important. And venting is normal. Hurray normal! I’m going to sleep.

[Whimpers] Send help! Send kittens! Send spicy beef tea! My little kitty nose is running, there’s a hot poker in the back of my throat, and my poor little ears are stuffy as hell. I think I’ll neti pot and take a nap.

Some unapologetic numbskull put “F/F” and “Krem/Sera” as their tags. Even if Krem, as a trans dude, likes the ladies, Sera is exclusively interested in F presented lady creatures. Someone is wrong on the internet and for she must die.