I don't know why - but the suggestion that I would eat raw biscuit dough is more offensive to me than anything Albert has ever said.

WORSE! HAIR IN HER ARMPIT!

Fair enough. They all don't work well. I just want to make sure you know that the point of the joke wasn't to mock native Hawaiians or their language, but to mock all the dumb justifications for ridiculous laws like these.

For a long time I thought the giant centipedes were the most fucked up thing about Hawaii, I really did have no idea until I spent a lot of time there.

But those centipedes are still near the top of the list.

This is also where I quietly point out all the graffiti on this statue

Oh, great. Now I want some homo milk.

I love how the one with the iPad is just like "OH GOD PLEASE LET NO ONE HAVE NOTICED."

Wine milkshake + buttered cinnamon rolls + bacon = a breakfast I could drag myself out of bed for

No, if you have to qualify it by calling it "X bacon," it isn't bacon. There is bacon, and there are ridiculous imitations. There is no Dana, there is only bacon.

Look, we should just all be grateful that Pitbull isn't involved. Silver linings!

Cuntrol yourselves.

I shall watch this! I will enjoy every single second of it. Also, I find John Cho extremely hot.

BACON!!!!

Wasting food is bad. Just sayin'.

Nomnoms! With interwebs peeps!

Amazing how they can try to silence an article about rape culture and NOT see the irony.

Yes, I remember when Houdini performed his great "Shush, Ladies!" Disappearing Rape Crimes trick!

I'm done with tumblr. Deleted my account, burned that bridge down. Never going back... I have had enough MRA/TERF battles to last me a life time.