I really really like your name.

Too sweet. You want a vinegar based hot sauce like Frank's or tabasco or choulula to cut through the grease.

I knowwwwwwwwwwww...but squiffy.

Ha ha, it's funny because Native people are stupid!!!/sarcasm

I hope someone rends that man limb from limb. Who bites a baby??? An asshole, that's who.

EXTREMELY SKEPTICAL LOOK MAYBE.

Skittles aren't food, they're inedible prey.

[Thefts a skittle]

[Offers Brighter a fajita and a beer]

But bacon is both cured and smoked. I take semantic offense to your statement.
Glares

But that is merely cured bacons. Must we all run out and buy coldsmokers as well!?!?!?!?!?!

I readed somewhere that a kosher chef just used slices of pastrami. There is also a product called beef bacon, made from bellymeats of the cow. Also, there is lamp bacon, made from the bellymeats of the immature sheeps! So...if us feels like sourcing these delicacies, thar still be bacons!!!

What? N0! Not the pork chops! They're like the tastiest analogue to boneless skinless chicken breasts! What will I tiredly cook post-workout??? Sigh. Oh god, the bacons. What will I put in my mini-pies and quiches??? In what fat will I cook kale in??? What will I fry my eggs in? What will I stir into my Hangover…

I am literally hyperventilating with desire right now.

Loool, Tarsier!

I shall keep that in mind next time I rend someone limb from limb!

Swipes a double pawful of guacamole.

Oh, animal disposal? Why didn't you say in the beginning? Cool! Thus freeing up freezer space for precious precious avocados. Er, does freezing them adversely affect texture?

Everything needs logic, except for the things that don't. This scenario, though, needs logic.