[Snickers] He's got a yahoo email address. What did you expect? Reason?

I bet they only encounter this when the topic is whether or not to mulch in the fall. Or orchids. Orchids make everyone testy.

That human seems very escalaty

Your feels, I has them. I work at a library and seriously side-eye (behind their back, as per good customer service) anyhuman who requests that stuff. I actually like it when the NS shelf is full, that means no one is reading him.

Oh man. I never judge for desiring fried chicken. My human, on the other hand, has to be in the mood to eat meat off a bone. It's bizarre, really.

Nuh uh! Jodi Picoult would make them think too much. Instead, they've got the collected works of Nicholas Sparks. In hard cover.

If it makes you feel better, the semester before prom, the girl who would become prom queen broke a chair by leaning back on it. The chair was faulty somehow, but it gave me great glee to see the raging queen bitch laid low by a chair.

It's the cheesy grin, isn't it?

Eh. I like pistachio flavoring and I like whipped cream and I like marshmallows and I like pineapple. I feel like I'm missing out.

The Kraft recipe looks super tasty, actually.

Yas. (Sometimes my human helps.)

[shifty eyes] I mean...I'm totally not a cat...I'm totally a human.

Eh. I can sort of see the fixation, they're shiny and cold.

I think it's because they're shiny.

THEY'VE CAUGHT ON TO ME!!!

See? Rude. And predatory.

I feel like "promiscuous" and "predatory" shouldn't be equated with one another. Consensually fucking a lot of people is completely different from almost raping someone. I agree with lunchcoma in that your friend doesn't have good boundaries and that she doesn't respect other peopleses. And I also think your friend is…

Is it because of this? I love Darcy sometimes.

This is gonna sound silly, but, can I sub anchovies with sardines? I found some delicious smoked sardines in oil and am dying to try your pasta with anchovies.

I am leetle and untrained in the arts of self defense. Sigh.