I hope she feels better soon. I may disagree with her husband, but wishing for the ill-health of a creature is just mean, and I suspect there will be many a person wishing ill for her just because of who her husband is.

I have tried neither, as I'm not really from the south, nor do I frequent fair type places, however. However. Mushrooms are the meatiest of the almost vegetables, and the idea of even the common button mushroom being elevated by being soft and juicy and umami-(ish? y?) surrounded by a toasty-warm flavored deep fried…

Where in Not Scotland can you get deep fried mushrooms!?! Oh gods, I'm asking the wrong person and there's drool running down my chin and I am Blaming You, You Monster.

Listen to this over and over?

Technically, you can, but you'd have to get the fat at the right temperature, around 212F, which is the same temperature as boiling water. Typically, the fat/pan's temp will be quite a bit higher than that when frying eggs.

I had leftovers but today is payday, so I felt like splurging. Besides. I was out of eggs. And I can't imagine toast and mushroom gravy without eggs over easy on the side. [shrugs]

earning disabilities,

If your lunch was my lunch, I'd have to go with none. No, wait, I had two forkfuls of kale with my supermarket fried chicken. So...little to none, which is an improvement, wouldn't you say?

In general, age and awesome have a proportional relationship, while age and the number of fucks I give have an inversely proportional one.

Oh man, I love eating prunes and obsessing over my nose hair! So yes, absolutely, I'll join you. Can we also talk about how they don't make music like they did in the good old days, too?

Reading this? I just feel so...old.

Because they're superprocessed, artificially flavored, and judging by Lindy's face the whole time, gross tasting?

So what you're saying is, if I plan on devouring his soul, I'd be better off going to an all-you-can-eat buffet beforehand? Gotcha.

It's probably not unlike a garbage flavored marshmallow: mostly air, protein from midstreated animals for structure, and a distinct lack of sweetness.

BITE HIM! REND HIM LIMB FROM LIMB! DEVOUR HIS SOUL! NO! BETTER: TEACH HIM THE ERROR OF HIS WAYS! THEN DEVOUR HIS SOUL!

how do you shred raw meat?

A quarter cup of Old Bay, as a dare, in middle school, followed by a clear, artificially sweetened, artificially flavored fruit drink.

I once licked Bunny on the cheek after she licked mine and she gave me this betrayed look and immediately started washing her face. Revenge is sweet.

AND the chinks. God, you people always forget about us! Oh right, we might not be white, but we're the next best thing! [rolls eyes]

I feel like people worry more than they need. Also, I've been on the receiving end of the, "It's so cool, like, you're not ethnic at all! Well, I mean, you are ethnic...well, you know what I mean!" speech, so it touched a sore spot I didn't know I had. Sorry for snapping at you.