I need to never be a time-traveler. The urge to send in notices to newspapers announcing every time I took a shit would be too great.

"What is it? It's two servings of that food you love. Look again. The dookie is now DIAMONDS!"

But how do I control my strong man hands?? There are too many muscles!!

Stabby soul mates! I also hate declarative comment that start with am 'Um...' because the 'um' is so fucking passive aggressive it makes me assume that whatever follows will be a statement of assholic proportions.

"never to be peen again."

I'm just hanging out with a well-trained group of dudes, no camo!

The people are covering up the THIGHS on this sign, btw.

But was Matt Lauer backstabbing Ann Curry BEHIND HER BACK?

As long as it's not Roxxxy, who seems to be applying for this years Phi Phi O'Hara award.

"HNNNNNGGG I JUST QUEEFED THE COLOR ORANGE INTO EXISTENCE"

This looks like a job for...Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer!

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

It's one event of the Decantalon.

Stay strong and support the boys.

The wrath of Monte-Zima's Revenge can be terrifying.

I'm personally more invested in the possibility of Les Adventures d'Arbor Mist.

Of course not! It's all part of Camp Carlo Rossi.

Journee de Julio Gallo?

"Lemon, did you take an Ambien with your Franzia and sleepwalk here?"

Psychopath and Sociopath are generally used interchangeably to mean a person who doesn't feel "normal" human emotions. The difference is that using the word "psychopath" implies a belief that the behavior is predetermined, whereas the term "sociopath" implies that it's learned or caused by life experiences.