OOOOOH, CAT FIGHT, AMIRITE?! Screech, hiss, whatnot, ladies, periods, "orgasms," nail polish, niche, Diva Cup, pink pink pink and also not pink pink pink. It's LADY BLOG games: Several go in... there can be only one winner... and her name is Jennifer Lawrence.

And here I was using my eyelids like an asshole.

Don't mock her cake — she's marrying the Stig. They say he's a secret collector of sweater fuzz, and that he was born with a silver gear shift in his mouth.

Love you for this.

Time to get out the measuring stick, Dwayne. A dick for a tit — it's only fair.

Raise your hand if you've ever felt personally victimized by not being able to squish in Bo's fluff.

California gleefully offers to take the Hobbits.

I'll show them — I'll do exactly what they tried to shame me into doing! Who's stupid now?!

Who are these morons who legit believe that a giant percentage of this country has no job and/or lives off sugar daddies/the gubberment?

Obligatory.

I want to know whose butt you have to grab in the Sheriff's Secret Police of Night Vale to get this guy taken to a secret location?

Yeah, pretty much the only reason I keep an inhaler is because of cigarette smoke. It's okay in passing (unpleasant, but doable), but an outdoor event or concert can put me on the floor when I can't get away from it.

I'd totally play this if the loser was forced to clean up the cat's diarrhea. "You're so handsome! In an unrelated matter, go look in the bathtub."

I have a very important opinion on famous woman's hair!

I wonder if, for an additional cost, they'll honk so you can leap out of bed before they run you over with the car? That's a deal-breaker for me.

He should just put a bra on his head and hook up a Barbie to the nearest computer.

But after they talk about periods and the color pink, what the hell will they fill the other fifty minutes with?!

I need my douchebro BINGO card. One more amazing, original sandwich joke and I lose!

Hugs. I hope you can drink his tears anon.