Unfortunately, we all "get" Scotts.

GUYS NAMED SCOTT. This is so true I made the villain of my damn book a Scott. Fuck you, Scotts. You know why.

"...her period, which is a type of bitch infection that women get in their underpants."

Him: Will you be my lawfully wedded PR partner?

Is that a penis in your ear, or do you just have bad taste in music?

Living every day in the happy now is my goal, and I think I slowly get there, even though I'm not yet 40. I've had some bad shit go down, but I'm working every day to try and be thankful for the non-shit shit and to hold on to that, instead of what I can't have. I hope that's the age-50 lesson.

I'd totally do Tumnus, tho. Not ashamed.

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH I'm scared, hold me!

I mean Gnomeo & Juliet

Kill him and eat him! That's cold. Tasty, but cold.

F: Centaur. He's the least weird, and I think we all know that that's saying fucking something.

If only Alyssa Milano's jumpsuit didn't have those fugly tapered legs. But then again, I pretty much detest every single Stella McCartney thing I ever see.

Well, I for one am glad we finally have some shows on TV that highlight white dudes. I mean, turn on any other show and they only appear as what — 80% of the characters?

FIRST!!!11!!!!!

I can't. The douche is too strong! Aaaaaah! Aaaaaahhhhh I'm growing a wispy, unattractive beard by proxy!

I'm not crying — there's just some freedom in my eye. Sniff.

It might be the best thing I ever made.

Sexually transmitted demon?

I think every person who has ever voted to restrict abortion rights should be handed an unwanted child on the way out of the voting booth. Let's see how well they enjoy forced parentage.