I always knew science was pro-sluttery!

What girl doesn't like a nice snack after sex?

Armie Hammer is "oddly perfect"? Are you kidding? It sounds like he suffers from virgin/whore syndrome, and that his wife is suffering from boring sex atop a rickety pedestal.

What trial and error this studious man must have gone through to figure out that women don't enjoy smelling feces. And now he has shared his expertise with the world! Never let it be said that smearing shit on your dick in the name of sex science is a waste.

I think parents should teach boys not to rape. But that's just me and my crazy, lefty, pinko Feminist nonsense.

If I ever have a company or employees, "calling in sex" for work will be allowable at least a couple of times a year. Happy employees are productive employees.

Yeah, I'm on the short road to 40, and it gets better and better. I also think that in your 30s many hit a place of "I don't fucking care what anyone thinks/I do what I want" that's not always achievable in your 20s. Such self-acceptance and -care can go a long way in making your body a happier place.

Since all things female are the antithesis of manly warring dudebros, I think Lady SEALS should just get their period on the enemy. If that's not always possible, throw pink glitter at them. When America's enemies run away from being lady-fied, we will have won!

I think every woman/girl/person who identifies as female should pull a Bobby Hill every time bullshit like this happens. "That's my shirt!" "That's my skirt!" could also be used.

I bet he's the smilingest mofo who ever smiled. Look at his life! That's gotta comfort you a little in times of trouble.

I really liked A Mighty Wind, but I'm a sucker for parody, especially in music.

Oh, no! So much pressure on me for you to like it!

Yes, the first was a little slow, but they get better and better, I think. Maybe it's not your jam, but the writing is crazy smart and funny, IMO.

The Family Tree is quietly brilliant. Stick with it — I doubt you'll be sorry.

Knock knock.

Reading "law" books about "reality" is for chumps. Fucking nerds. What's next, reading the actual constitution?

You're ugly! And you're ugly! And you're ugly! And you're ugly! And you're ugly! And you're ugly! And you're ugly! And you're ugly! And you're ugly! Everyone's UUUUUUUUUUGLYYYYYYYYYY!

I feel like abandoning all use of logic! I feel like investing in Aqua Net and bump-its!

But all wimmens are alike! And think alike, because of periods. Why, I feel like giving up my right to vote as we speak just listening to my fellow uterus-haver.

Well, I never bought their crap before, and i definitely won't ever now. I'm gonna go barf in the classic "eating a Big Mac" yoga posture.