NOT A FUNERAL DIRECTOR? TELL THAT TO THE VICTIMS OF BENGHAZI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, what?! This is a nice summer suit. He looks good? Right?

Science is an evil communist plot but gun shooting is just good planning.

Probably my face.

Someday, I'll get laser hair removal and my life will be complete.

(from xkcd)

In terms of "working" it depends on what working is. Like if you do it to 60 people and one person lets you have sex with them? I guess it "worked." So if a short reward once in a blue moon is worth being shitty 24/7... :-/

[Spit takes]

You know what else has health benefits? Chicken soup. Much safer to make.

Tangentially related, is there a Jezzie subblog for sports fans *of the lady ilk*? I'd love a less sexist space to discuss sports things.

I would find it somewhat odd that juries feel the need to explain their verdict, if it wasn't for the fucked up interpretations of the verdict I have heard since moving to the Detroit area. While discussing the Ferguson case a new colleague told me straight-faced that they thought Wafer was found guilty because the…

PRO TIP: IF YOUR OPTIONS ARE 'SHOOT BLINDLY IN THE DARK WITH FULL INTENT TO HARM" OR "LOOK OUT WINDOW"

This is far more common that you'd think. In fact - the Anfield Cat is a minor celebrity in Liverpool.

Both! Lady Macbeth was the original misandrist. The first draft of her one speech about Duncan goes, "Had he not resembled/My father as he slept, I had done it./Oh, what the hell? I'll kill him by myself. [Runs back into Duncan's room brandishing knife] Fuck you, Dad! Kill all men!"

I learned that from the Duggars. Hey, maybe he wants his own reality show! Working title: I Fought the Law and My Balls Won.

I knew hoarding is a problem for some, but didn't realize it could also take this shape.

This is a Can-Am Spyder. It is the dumbest thing I have ever seen, and I have graded high school English exams.

I'm happy that they were humanely removed and relocated. Having an assload of bees in your apartment is terrifying, but it's a hell of a lot better than hornets or wasps. At least bees are pretty docile and, you know, do something useful.

Re: the last letter, am I the only one who doesn't understand why some people with kids get so butthurt about pet owners comparing their furbabies to real babies? I mean, obviously it's not the same but no one is saying it out of malice and parents should be able to just shrug that off instead of getting offended and…