In honor of Kylie’s new hair, here’s my favorite blonde joke:

Oh that’s just silly. Everyone knows it’s blood from...wherever.

Correction: Sea of mostly white dudes who probably don’t even know how menstruation works.

This isn’t technically a blackout story, but here goes. Was in Jamaica in 1998 (this is important later) with a girlfriend staying at one of those “all inclusive” places-all you can eat food AND drink. Anyway, we were laying on the lounges pretty close to the water all morning and into the afternoon, drinking the rum…

I say we all start our own trials and meet back for Saturday Night Social with the results

“One of the news organizations that changed my gender had actually interviewed me, in person.”

It’s annoying when people who have valid criticisms and complaints instead resort to racism or misogyny (or etc) rather than actually arguing their position. It’s like, you had a point, but now I can’t take you seriously because you appear to be a horrible person. :/

I understand wanting to share a last name with your kids. It is convenient. What I don’t understand is automatically assuming that it’s the woman who must change in order to have the same name as her kids. Nope, my kids have my name. Suck it patriarchy!

I’m getting married next weekend and I’m definitely not changing my name. I’ve published articles and built up an online presence under my name, although truthfully it’s more because I’m uncomfortable with the symbolism behind the act.

It’s MY name and I shouldn’t have to give it up. To all the idiots who point out it’s my dad’s name—I was born with it and it’s mine. I’m willing to name children with my partner’s name—but I will not change mine.

I am waiting for him to unzip his skin suit and reveal the quasi-sentient lizard beneath.

I don’t believe a single “pro-lifer” when they say they care about the fetus. Their only believable motivation is woman-hatred.

I really really hate these kinds of stories. Wouldn’t it be better all around for kids to be fed and able to learn instead of shamed and/or starving?

I’d like this for a light day, or that day when you know your period’s going to show up at some point, but it’s early yet. Seriously, these sound like a great replacement for my panty liner days, though not as a main line of defense.

I know this is the last thing you would want someone to get from your great comment, but now I really want a door that only my penis can open. It never even occurred to me that something like this could exist. However, now I must have one. Once I build it and make ten bajillion dollars selling the “Penis-o-matic…

Reminds me of Merrill Markoe’s bit about why we shouldn’t look to supermodels and actresses for beauty tips—what advice can they really offer besides, “Next time you’re born, try to have better looking parents”?

Back when the general consensus was that meanie feminists forced Joss Whedon off Twitter with their witchery, I remember being really pissed off because no one ever acts like women being hateswarmed on Twitter means the Internet needs to go to its room and think about what it’s done. Hell, Cecily Strong deleted her…

That’s why the gods invented cheese and other dairy products. I’m technically a pescetarian myself, but only eat fish every other week. Most of my protein comes from dairy products. (Not an alternative for people with any kind of dairy related allergy, obviously. In that case I would probably get meat back on my menu…

welp

Glad to know it’s not just me. Omega 3 is basically the only supplement I’ve ever taken with any kind of regularity, but I just can’t with the fish burps anymore. The day I burped while sitting at the dinner table and my cat came running to smell my breath is when I said “enough is enough” to Omega 3.