I’ve lived in Minnesota my entire life and I’ve never bought snow tires. Since it has snowed here in every month of the year save July, I’m pretty sure we just call them ‘tires.’

I missed the part where I called you or anyone else a moron. I have two children in their 20s, and while they aren’t so clueless as this, yours is a generation (raised by my generation) which believes that their every thought, movement, and opinion is worthy of broadcast without actual self-examination. Don’t get your…

God love 20-somethings. Honey, you sell nuts at a baseball stadium. Let’s stop and let that sink in. You sell nuts. At baseball games. You are not a god. You are not oppressed. I’m a member of the white race, and I don’t need a savior. Especially not a 26-year-old nut job. I mean, nut GOD.

I’m struggling to get past the fact that someone (anyone) thinks it’s OK to chest bump a woman. What the literal fuck.

Not sure where you’re from, but it’s not Minneapolis. We’ve been through this garbage with Target Field. The collective mind of the taxpayer is that if we give you the money, you better spend it well and produce a winning team. The logic may fail you, but I suspect it’s not a unique situation.

I’d agree with that assessment any year but the one in which they were opening a $1 billion stadium that was partially (and with no little amount of conflict) funded by taxpayers. To say, in August, that we should shrug it off or chalk it up to a bad break and move on would have brought on a mutiny. Say what you will…

Thank you for acknowledging you fucked up that earlier comment. Xavier Rhodes and Harrison Smith can hardly be called “so-so.”

So, in the timeframe and with the availability in the moment, who SHOULD Rick Spielman have brought in? It’s not like there were a lot of options or any time to ponder. (As a Vikings fan, I just threw up in my mouth a little with that word)

When you referred to Kellyanne’s hair as ‘perfectly coiffed,’ Katrina Pierson did a spit take. Ms. Conway has grown increasingly to look like someone who’s been rode hard and put away wet, which is what happens when you sell your soul to the Tangerine Nightmare.

When they make the “Back from the Brink: Yolanda Hadid’s Miraculous Recovery from Lyme Disease,” Becky (with the good hair) Romijn should play Yo. Seriously, they look like they could be related.

“...the unhinged determination of a half-blind barn cat in a thunderstorm.” Stealing this. Sorry not sorry.

Dude looks in better shape than Palmer did by the end of the game. Also, younger.

I’m having an existential crisis over a cunt living inside her own asshole. Maybe not so much existential as anatomical. Also, if I’d know Jesus was picking the President, my broken shoulder and I would have just stayed home on election day. He probably tripped my sorry atheist ass in the first place. Christ.

I laughed, and then felt shitty when I remember that a small deer totaled my station wagon that one time.

The answer to all dropped-food angst = get a pug. Snout be damned - they’ll hoover up anything that’s even remotely food-related, possibly because they know they’re not supposed to and will break a fat little leg trying to beat you to the morsel in a mad scramble.

Swap out the mayonnaise with marshmallow fluff, tell the lettuce to fuck off, and I’ll follow you all the way home.

This photo makes me feel so many things. Mostly, I feel that Hillary looks beautiful and relaxed. I’m happy for her in that respect. Our (huge, heartbreaking, immeasurable, unfathomable) loss is her and her family’s gain.

A+ for lickspittle. A++ for spelling “gofer” correctly.

I call Menstruating Waterheads for my punk band or my indie horror film - whichever comes through first.

What are unisex shoelaces? And does this explain why the ladies always hit on me at the grocery store? #shoelaces #doingitwrong