The word is “entails,” not “emails.” #readingforcomprehension

Somebody pulled her face too tight. Damn, girl. Lay off the injectables and improve your vision 35%. Nice Caprice Classic, Madam President. The brown is so classy - like my grandma’s car. (just kidding - my grandma drove a black Lincoln).

Cough into your elbow. Only kiss babies on top of their soft little heads. Never set down or pick up a used tissue - take it straight to the garbage can. Wash your hands with soap when you use the bathroom. Don’t rub your eyes - because your hands are still filthy. Don’t set your purse on the floor of the restroom (or…

As a Vikings fan, rewinding that moment was the only happy time to be had last night. It looked like Cutler threw a skillet instead of a football.

Separate but equal? Sounds legit...

When you find yourself in a deep hole, put down the shovel.

So, the women don’t go where they don’t feel safe, sequester themselves, don’t go to parties, opt out of sports, switch to an all-girls’ school, while the young men who are ranking them like grades of beef continue on their merry way. Welcome to the 19th century!

They narrowed it down to two houses and picked one based on its appearance (see below).

No. They were like something you’d find at the bottom of the church organist’s purse. Even our pugs wouldn’t touch them when they got into the Halloween stash.

My kids are atheist as well; not sure if this contributed to their demise.

They’re pretty sure it’s the house one block over with fake (cardboard) security cameras on every corner of the house.

My children are grown men now, but for years their sworn quest was to figure out which neighbor was slipping this bullshit in with the Snickers.

Tug McGraw. Vida Blue. Kid Nichols.

First commenter on Twitter for the win....hamglob.

Harris Faulkner was a local news anchor in Minneapolis/St. Paul and then she wasn’t. I didn’t know she’d resurfaced at Fox until the Hasbro kerfuffle came up. My immediate reaction was that hamsters don’t even HAVE last names, but then I remembered my hamster, Moses Gunn (RIP) and I had to amend that to TOY hamsters…

The taunting was a wash - 13 and 29 were both talking - the difference being that while Xavier basically got horse-collared by Harrison Smith and told to simmer down, Odell deemed it appropriate to brush an official on his way past. Personally, I like the chippiness. It makes it fell almost like a football game.

I’m out of Kleenex (Twins fan since 1972). We have some great raw talent, but the starting pitching is a fucking overflowing basket of deplorables. Except Ervin Santana, because he cute. And can pitch, for fuck’s sake.

Not going to click the star, because right now there is a tiny gray 11 hovering just below it ...