...and children who have CF, or your grandma, or my mother who lived with a severely compromised immune system while on chemo for seven years. If she’d contracted the flu and died even younger, I would be well pissed.

So, why didn’t you post your laundry list of Alicia Machado’s accomplishments before you decided to post a semi-nude photo of her? It certainly lends itself to the conclusion that for you, her value is tied to her appearance...oh, and by the way she does these things well, too. Lua’s criticism stung, to be sure, but…

I have a purple car. In the trunk you will find a four-pound short-handled mallet and a pair of black pumps. I do not feel that I am particularly complex for a girl, either.

Just know you’ve made a great number of Real Housewives of Minnetonka very, very proud. And their clueless husbands are probably getting a very special treat when it’s not even their birthday. Well played, Deadspin. Even if it’s unintentional.

Step One: Get a big bag of money.

Until you puke on the Prime Minister’s lap, just keep it under your hat, y’all.

Hillary’s old enough to be my (teen) mom, and in her shoes, with that bag of dicks and his baskets of whatever hucking up hairballs about me every day on top of the Benghazi dick-waving marathon, I KNOW I’d just flip everyone off, with or without pneumonia.

Still could have taken the preschooler out of the car, or at least tried to engage with him.

It bears repeating. Ad infinitum, really.

Took my older son to see Cats 20 years ago. Between scenes, an actress forgot to turn off her mic and the entire (matinee, child-heavy) audience heard a disembodied voice say, “Does anyone have a tampon?” Before we could recover, said voice came back with, “Like, a little baby tampon?” The effort of not dissolving…

Yeah, but if you have allergies and double down on your antihistamine because if you cough or sniffle in public your opponent will say you have dain bramage, the antihistamine will dry out your sinuses and everything else, causing dehydration and symptoms of heat exhaustion. Or Hillary (if that’s even her real name)…

Thank you for brightening my Monday morning with the video I never get tired of watching. Pierszynski still gets booed every time he steps onto playing field in Minnesota, just as Torii Hunter got a standing O every time he did so when he played for the Angels.

“...to the legion of oblivious Jello salad moms that populate the state of Minnesota.”

It’s going to allow individuals to express their true feelings. If yours lead you to stand and face the flag with your hand over your heart, then do. If mine lead me to stay seated, kneel, or turn my back, then I will. Perhaps the patriots who are so offended should be concentrating on the flag and belting out the…

I had the misfortune of getting into an email exchange with said gossip columnist (possibly the most irrelevant job title short of buggy wheel repair person) and I can attest that she is a thin-skinned, mean-spirited bully and the sooner she goes away, the better we’ll all be for it. I’ve wept more times than I like…

Clearly you haven’t eaten at Chipotle.

Clearly you haven’t eaten at Chipotle.

Nitpicking, long-suffering Twins fan here: Twins PITCHING is trash. With the exception of Ervin Santana, all the pitchers are about as sharp as a bag of wet nickels, and I wish they would all trip and fall and break their arms. #allthis #bridgewatertoo

As an atheist baseball fan (or masochist - my team is the Twins), I stand for the national anthem, stand for “Take Me Out to the Ball Game,” and sit when they sing “God Bless America.” Trust me, I hear a lot of shit talk in the stands - I can only imagine the heat Kaepernick is experiencing right now. For that reason…

He and Mitt shop at Staples together.