We got a dog when I was 10, the shelter had a 24-hour hold policy, so after we picked out "Tinker" we went home and came back the following day. When we arrived an older couple was being told the dog was already adopted, it turned out they had fallen in love with him too just after we finished our paperwork, and…

And in honor of Jared Leto's award, CVS is going to offer a 50% discount on all douches.

This is awful, but I can completely see how it happened. The dog escaped the yard, as dogs often do. The dog ended up in rescue, the rescue thought she was a stray, and adopted her out. They never got the voicemail about her, and by the time they got the adoption application, she was already being adopted by a new…

This required a double-take and is possibly the greatest purse in humanity. I would love to know how many thousands of dollars it costs. Also, this evening I'll definitely be stopping by my grocery to pick up a styrofoam meat tray so that I can DIY up my own version of this for work tomorrow. HIGH FASHION 4 LIFE.

If my parents had been the ones to adopt this dog, then found out what happened, there would have been an "I'm sorry, kids, the right thing to do is give this dog back to its owners." The fact that they're not giving her back means they are just as shitty as the people in the shelter who made the decision.

Good googly-moogly, this dress is hideous!

Nancy O'Dell dresses and styles herself like a 20 year old socialite. I really want to take her aside and cut her hair in a chic bob and put her in more becoming clothing.

Dear Parents of the World,

I think he's Captain of the USS Douchetastic, which is currently docked in Creepville. He's been hitting on many of the ladies at awards show red carpets. Skeevy, for sure. Lupita is so much smarter than to fall for his schtick.

• The New Avengers.

Dear Brian Donohue,

"Marriage is about family. It's not about love. Two sisters can love each other. That's an odd idea by the way in Western history. The idea that two people should get married on the basis of love. Now, HOPEFULLY, people do love each other. Marriage has always been based historically on duty and on commitment."

Incorrect. Founded by an Italian businessman named Oscar Farinetti in Turin in 2007.

I am Large Penis Cup Cake Maker Mike.

That made me lol, out loud

I am going to keep trying to make 'Michelevingne' happen until it kills me (or, y'know, until they break up)...

That orange lipstick is perfect with this outfit!

OH MY GOD I FORGOT HOW MUCH I WANTED TO SLAP HER STYLIST FOR THOSE SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These two just aren't a good match for each other. They keep trying to make her edgy, and it's just not her thing. I wish someone like Calvin Klein would have offered her a campaign instead and Dior had focused on someone more like Lupita.