I'd much rather look at a beautiful, scantily-clad vegan woman, next to the words "VEGANS ARE HOT!" than some fat kid covered in blood, next to the words "MEAT IS CHILD ABUSE".

And all the people with a stupefying amount of money and absolutely no sense of what to do with it will flock to their nearest Lamborghini dealers to pick up a vehicle that they think will allow them to achieve two pinnacles of trendiness at one shot. And Lamborghini will make a metric crapton of money.

"Should I restore this car to its former glory?"

Here's how I'll hope the next few moments played out for our jalopnik hero.

Huh... Hadn't heard of her before this. She looks a bit like my ex.

Last time I looked at fully illuminated keyboards was a while ago, but they were stupid-expensive.

There is a great series running now on PBS called America Revealed. Last week's episode was about food. Toward the end, they explored the beef industry. Now, I don't eat a lot of meat (being married to a vegetarian) but I do enjoy a good steak and cheese sub, or spaghetti with meatballs, or Italian sausage on my…

Did anyone play Super Mario Bros. for its compelling everyman-saves-princess, fantasy-world narrative?

Yes, let's give every game a "must be online" requirement, and give every game a limited lifespan after which the whole thing doesn't work because the server has been shut down. That way everyone can have the niche-MMO experience, over and over again, with every game they ever buy.

A firefighting helicopter. Dump a load of water to (hopefully) harmlessly disperse the crowd, or dump a massive bag load of cash and turn the riot into a party...or a different riot. Either way, you're high above the action.

That's some careless ASCII art up there.

I really hope that's the most terrifying thing I will see today.

"Why don't you think about the consequences of telling me how to think!" (throws table)

So, cell phone usage reflects what we already kind of knew, or at least felt intuitively, about social interaction?

Dark enough to make you blind...

I both do and do not want to know what the ASL sign for "tampon" might be, and what other English word it would be even remotely close to.

I just imagined her sitting next to Sylvester Stallone's character from Demolition Man, chatting about the wild old days while they knit each other sweaters.

July 27, 2012 — Tomato farmers report severe threats to sustainability due to overproduction and mysterious swarms of red beetles.

Love: Caring enough about your daughter to be genuinely overcome with joy when she finally gets what she's been so excited about for so long, even when you think it's just a bunch of pulp-pop crap.

heh... I love that movie.