Sorry, Dule Hill, but eight years of Burton Guster have caused me to not take you seriously as a brutal villain. You know that's right.

Jesus H. Christ, he really did look like Chris Gaines with that haircut. Thank god he didn't try rocking the soul patch too.

I made it as far as "WHAT UP, INTERNET?!"

They kept him on as a freelancer for a bit but he said recently that they don't really use anyone not on staff anymore, aside from Rabin of course.

If only Will Harris and Nabin actually still worked here.

Today's poorly written ramble about Trump that doesn't really have much to do with pop culture is brought to you by Big League Chew!

I figured if anything that the producers would be calling Donnie Yen or Fan Bingbing right about now.

Lost in the discussion about F8 is the fact that the domestic opening weekend was far below the previous entry. I guess Universal doesn't give a shit because China is the new hotness?

TIL Kenny G brushes his teeth before he plays his saxophone.

I vaguely know a couple of Moby songs, but the one I (along with most everyone else, I imagine) know best is whichever one they used in the Bourne series. So his point definitely stands.

Not only is he a gross scumbag, he is also a total failure at sexy talk!

My favorite part is the awkward cadence, as if he is completely unaware of how to interact with another human being sexually.

Was this the audiobook where the clip of O'Reilly saying "Hey baby, why don't you put down that pipe and get my pipe up?" came from?

Quite right, let's all smoke drugs and be cool! Everyone who is currently in possession of illegal drugs, please state your names into my not-at-all-suspicious oversized novelty hat.

There's a very tasteful Firsties memorial to the many CancerAIDS victims.

After a FedEx guy saved his life one time, he swore a life-debt to all FedEx guys.

"They laughed at me the first time I wore jeans with a sport coat. I was the first wealthy man in America to ever do that, now they all do it!"

Harry Shearer is also well known as being a tremendous asshole to everyone he's ever met.

I was going to add that the character hadn't been that ubiquitous on the show at that point (1995) before looking it up and realizing he'd been the focus of five episodes around the time the book was written. So it turns out that #1 I'm super old, and #2 he's more than likely a pretentious ass who thought cartoons…

It's true! It's true! We're so lame!