I believe strongly that people should learn to swim at as early an age as possible. Like, infants should definitely be in pools.

i think the broader question here is why give rick santorum any airtime at all

...mostly because they figured people should know that you can’t juice almonds:...

Prank idea: Stick a neutron star to the bottom of your friend’s bathroom scale.

Valar Morgoopis

Anybody else read “gut cleanse giveaway” and think “infectious diarrhea?”

‘mogul’ O RLY?!

Y’all just jellus!!

Therefore, NOT the best place to be sick...

Nope, even with “good” insurance, it’s a shitty system, unless you enjoy fine print and bureaucracy.

Calls to the U.S. are not expensive. She just doesn’t want to talk to you.

I’m surprised 56-year old Thompson wasn’t considered too old to play a 77 year old prostitute. Her johns must be 100+.

Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more.
Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea, and one on shore,
To one thing constant never.
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into hey nonny, nonny.

Hey, whoa, let’s not go crazy here. Eating a big butthole and washing it down with a bag of milk is fantastic.

10 times the population and yet only 22 total medals more.

My sister moved to Canada with her husband and kids, and now I never hear from her because the Canadian telecom system is so screwed up it costs like 75 bucks in whatever pea-meal-bacon-based currency they use just to say “hi” across the border. I suspect the power their switchboards with beavers running on a…

Fuck you right back you prick - why don’t you just go a buy a gun and kill some more of your own countrymen

Hey, whoa, let’s not go crazy here. Poutine is fantastic.

You should go use Canada’s superior healthcare system to cure that butthurt.

You know, I’m somewhat of an ursine specialist and I can tell you that bears developed the ability to sit on chairs in 1856. *FACT*