“But the Marquess, Johnny Dumfries—“a former Formula One driver who is descended from Robert the Bruce, the medieval hero of Scottish independence”—has no plans to sell the First Folio, and it will remain on the Isle of Bute.”

GIF version:

You know how to avoid having “difficult days” like this?

You know who’s really winning in all of this? Kendall. She’s all “Hey guys I”m a hot famous model who doesn’t have to date my sisters boyfriends exes K thanx Bye”

I seriously hate that jawless, fetus faced pervert so fucking much. Trying to get custody of a child when you left that child’s mother for another child.

Angela Khyna Kardashian is in the Jezebel Circle of Protection now.

Fair Maiden—forever it is that I shall love you. And fear not, for your heart too shall find its true course. Your magic is powerfully special. Godspeed, thy nonage. No fatties.

Signed Nichard Namirez

2 and a half T-Cells

And it comes from this notion that the US Government has been competent enough to keep this massive disinformation campaign going since the nation’s inception, but hasn’t been competent enough to close these magic loopholes.

In other news, my new hat related website, Fezebel, will be launching soon.

Or the word processing software, Sentencé.

Or Crayola’s newest rival, Crayoncé.

I’m worried about my accounting company, Financé.

Lord help that new brand of Ouija boards, Seayoncé.

“This suit follows a similar one last year, regarding Etsy mugs emblazoned with “Feyoncé,” which were eventually pulled.”

They’re gonna name it Supreme Deity Kardashian just to fuck with Kanye

OMG I HOPE SHE GETS PREGNANT LIKE RIGHT AWAY

How long is this con? Because if they take it all the way and have a son and name him Robert I’m going to send a christening gift.

My cat punched me in the eye once. Without claws. So for like a month, I had 1/3 of a normal-sized black eye going on, and had to tell everyone I was punched by a cat.