It’s a pretty integral part of the human experience. None of us would be here without it. That said, I would have gladly paid somebody else to be pregnant for me if I could have afforded it. I look forward to the day when we can have tank farm babies, a la The Matrix.

A lot of the products are great and I really like some of them. But the diapers are terrible. Cute, but terrible. They are cut so narrowly that they hardly hold anything. I put one of them next to a Pampers and it was like the Honest diapers were skinny cut or something. It’s bizarre.

I wish Weekly World News was still in print. With my modest Photoshop skills and enjoyment of creative writing, I could have been a star reporter for them.

Steve Zahn makes every movie he’s in.

I was always very casual about high fevers for my kids, having been told the same thing. Then my 2 year old got the flu, hit 104, had a febrile seizure and stopped breathing. She was turning blue and I had to give her mouth to mouth while we waited for the ambulance. Now I monitor fevers like a hawk. :/

Man, that reminds me. I need to make an appt with the derm to see about getting botox. Approaching 40 is no joke!

Honestly, the parenting subreddit is really good. Very reasonable people there.

We have a gun. It’s in a safe with a biometric and combination lock, it’s disassembled with a cable lock going through it, and the bullets are stored elsewhere (also locked). Oh, and my kids don’t know it exists (yet. They are 2 and 4 years old.) That doesn’t seem like a good reason for a pediatrician not to treat my…

That house is a rehabber’s dream. My money’s on it being flipped.

“See, how it works is, the train moves, not the station.”

Of course their memories are on trial. There’s no physical evidence—all that the prosecution has is their statements and their memories. What else did they expect?

Is it better than My Father the Hero?

Speaking of famous offspring, did anyone else notice IntoTheGloss had a top shelf profile of Ivanka Trump up earlier today that they’ve subsequently pulled? I only noticed because I have their RSS set up in my Feedly account, where it shows me the headline, but the URL is dead.

I get the feeling that this is what Kate Winslet meant when she said it’s “vulgar” to talk about money.

POC men do.

Seriously. Can we stop pretending that ghosts are real, even for headline clicks?

I’d say she’s the new Rita Ora, but her time will probably be even briefer than that.

undeservedly winning shit for being The Most Bland Person Ever

Clover is the new Dodai.

No.