If you look closely, the person in red hanging off the uprights sort of looks like an underage girl

The Australians are simply used to their toilet water draining the opposite way down the walls.

This is America dammit. Call it socser so we don’t get it confused with our real sports.

Peanut shells... rose petals... what’s the difference, right?

The little league dugout was good enough for Stacy, freshman at Ridgemont High, to lose her virginity.

It wasn’t just in the clubhouse. He also had sex between the lines.

I’m 38 and I give myself hand jobs nearly every day.

So familiar with this guy from my days scouting all-ivy academic sprinters

this is a bad take

All your sons are belong to France

RELAX FOR A SECOND

I published 27 stories last weekend alone, so yeah it’s just you.

Ugh, it's a wall of text and I'm short on time, so just fill us in. Should we be hating him or not?

How do you reconcile those made up numbers with the fact that you’ve never made anyone horny

Pretty sure that no one was on your lawn, sir.

Thank god that “THAT GUY” didn’t take Friday off.

I’m struggling to think of any Argentine left off the roster who is as good as Brek Shea.

“England supporters, many young, probably at their first tournament...”

The women have also been described as a pro-choice dream team that wins by rejecting the alley oops.

Since you’re just getting into the Premier League, let me inform you, before you embarrass yourself, that Leicester is pronounced “Lee-chester”.