Consent. If you are black out drunk, and someone wants to put their pee-pee into your vag, you cannot consent. And vice-versa.

HOW IS HE ONLY 3 YEARS OLDER THAN ME??? He looks like he’s in his fifties. Woof.

My parents (who are 70 and 71) loved American Idol right up until the end. My dad has also become a huge fan of that Steve Harvey show with the kids who have talents... I support this only because my parents are adorable and retired and my dad is cute and foreign and he loved Randy Jackson.

“[Trumpcare] will allow insurance companies to require people who have higher health care costs to contribute more to the insurance pool that helps offset all these costs, thereby reducing the cost to those people who lead good lives, they’re healthy, they’ve done the things to keep their bodies healthy,” Brooks…

My company hires people on “part-time” before turning them full time. They knew I got married 10 days before I started this job and it took almost 2 years for me to go full-time here. TWO. YEARS. The CEO straight out told my boss it was because he was worried I’d take advantage and get pregnant immediately after going…

Good God these past 81 days have felt like 81 fafillion years.

I’m reading this in tears; crying over the sacrifice these rich assholes have made by walking away from personal interests to serve our country. As I weep, an orchestra of tiny violins plays in the corner.

Please clarify: schadenfreude is NOT shade! (Right, Kara?? Right?)

Hey, FUCK YOU, Arkansas.

I wish I could have physically participated, along with the women I work with (because basically my office is stuck in 1983).

I still use my AOL since I’ve had it for 23 years, but I also have a Gmail account I use frequently because I’m not savage.

OH OH OH!!!!!!

That whole stunt with the tourists was so weird.

Sooooo they want us to have all of the babies. But then they’re taking away affordable healthcare, there is no paid maternity leave, and even when we do work we get paid less than men??? Am I getting this right???

An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that @BarackObama’s birth certificate is a fraud.

I just got back from a week in Iceland on Saturday. When we first started planning this trip it was before it was the #cool thing to do. We travel a lot, and keep it 50/50 international and domestic.

Thank you for the tip!!! We are chasing waterfalls on Friday!

How many goddamn years did we have to listen to Trump berate and disrespect Obama over his birth certificate???? But hey it’s OK that this bullshit goes on?

also, why do tit pockets even exist?

For someone who wants to bring jobs back to America, her shitty shit was being made in China (Gyna)...soooo yea. Fuck you.