Make it Kitchen Stadium

I would love to see a OKC-Toronto finals matchup, but I will settle for GS-Milwaukee only if Giannis takes his rightful throne and flicks Durant in the forehead

a site for boys who wanna grow up to be Donald Trump Jr.

As I made clear, I’m not defending Stephenson’s opinions. He’s garbage.

Wait wait wait waaaaiiiiiit a minute. Two things of import are glossed over here:

That last email is the one you should have sent first, and it’s a shame you had to let Bret Fucking Stephens hand you your ass before you realized that.

If you’re suggesting that the world would be better off if the 9/11 terrorists were white assholes from Boston, and instead of invading nations on the other side of the world and throwing global politics into a free fall, we just “got rid” of Boston then... yes.

The thing about being great at basketball is that it doesn’t prevent a person from being boring and deeply unpleasant.

This has to drive Lavar Ball absolutely nuts to see a parent so badly fail to exploit their chidlren’s sports success for personal attention.

That’s how long it took to find a pack of Kent IIIs, he said

You remember that Sunday morning, two months after dad left, you wake up and notice mom’s hair is seriously mussed, and then you walk into the kitchen and dad is making eggs like the past eight weeks never happened . . .

The slipping sound is perfect! Unlike those Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercials, I won’t have to mute this video to masturbate to it.

Compare Romo’s observations to Troy Aikman’s and it’s just night and day.

I think it was that throw to Gronk down the sideline where he noted, “If the safety steps up, he’s going to Gronk one-on-one.” I immediately was staring at that safety, saw him step up, and I was like, “Here it comes.”

As one of the purged I thank you. Don’t hang out in these parts much anymore. That’s why.

Six months from now NEWGAWKER will announce its latest hire: executive editor and community manager Tomatoface. The bastard will have finally done it.

I hate when my maid wakes me up because it means I’ve woken up in a stranger’s house.

But lets focus on important matters…

In 2012, Breslaw wrote a story for Tablet Magazine titled, “How the cancer victim at the center of the AMC series [Breaking Bad] justifies my skepticism of Holocaust survivors.”

Uhhh...that Anna Breslaw article is absolutely fucking nuts. That might be the single worst piece of writing I’ve ever read. The combination of self-involvement and lack of self-awareness to write such a thing and imagine it contains real insight is astonishing.