He’s right. I would much rather watch the women’s tournament where the #1 seeds beat everyone else 115-35. LAY UPS! BACKDOOR CUTS! FLAT FOOTED PERIMETER SHOOTING! Much better entertainment value.

I bet if you took fantasy sports out of the equation, Yahoo would have collapsed like a dying star years ago.

Once it's been smoked, it actually freezes quite nicely. One full-size fillet, cut into four or five pieces before going in the brine, gives me enough to bring some out for the four or five parties I either host or contribute to during the six-month span it stays pretty good for. Obviously best five minutes after…

Well hellfire, that's a great question. I think the fine folks at Regressing are working on that now. (They are not.)

Griffin: [tries to hug Rivers]

Yes, that's the important thing.

Including Chris Borland, which is why he's retiring now and not asking his wife who she's talking to in 20 years.

I find this all hard to believe.

Wait, you think Simmons was the first person to come up with a the concept of a mailbag article?

Most of the time, I do not even know it, and quite frankly, I don't care.

It's a coin flip between Lewandowski and Gotze to see who is Two-Face.

They just have to beg their fans to be fans.

John Terry: *CTRL+F* "Players."

I'd say he should've taken the bus, but Chelsea parked it.

Ray Lewis: Cutty from "The Wire"

Bill Simmons must be played by Ellen Degeneres

He's sadly passed on but Vincent Schiavelli is the perfect Jeff Van Gundy.

Stuart Scott: Forest Whitaker

[drops it like it's hot]
[drops it like it's hot]
[drops it like it's hot]
[is benched]

He "roofed a vicious shot" from 3 feet away. AKA he almost missed a shot from 3 feet away. A good player would have tapped that in.