They sell cheesecake. The place could be covered with black velvet Elvis posters and Thomas Kinkade paintings and I would still go there.

Luke Perry never looked young. He was a geezer the first time I laid eyes on him.

You’re telling me that a woman who makes millions of dollars a year from her iPhone apps can only pay the woman carrying her child a measly $4,000 if she loses her reproductive organs?!

If I remember my Dirt Bags correctly, Kim had some pretty tough pregnancy issues including that wingardium leviosa (sp) where you puke like...all day. Pregnancy sounds awful.

If only we’d included that in very clear language in this post!

If only we’d included that in very clear language in this post!

The examples just served to confuse me, because it seems like they’re equally composed of dudes who I crush on and dudes whose appeal I do not understand.

Yes, it sparks an involuntary reaction starting in our vaginas, passes through the uterus and out the Fallopian tubes into the rest of the body upwards until laughter comes out of our dick suckers, I mean, mouths.

What shakes at the bottom of the ocean?

A nervous wreck! *rimshot*

I’ve encountered her comedy three total times.

Here’s mine- I got it off a popsicle stick.

I’ve definitely cringed listening her talk about women in her act. Her generalizations are just... not the women I know.

You’re right. It’s not a deposition. If she hadn’t posted that statement to social media, without clarifying what she REALLY meant, and hadn’t vehemently defended the statement, without clarifying what she REALLY meant, and hadn’t posted a statement defending what she said, without clarifying what she REALLY meant,…

Here’s my favorite dumb kiddy joke that I fall back on whenever I’m asked to tell a joke. It is the only clean/ safe one I remember so it is my go to. It is also surprisingly obvious, but no one ever guesses.

Since I am constantly searching for good stand up on Netflix, the algorithm hit me with her first special repeatedly. I really loved Ali Wong? “Baby Cobra and Netflix thus thought I would like this person as well.

That was me trying to be her in that last part...

Oh god. I actually kind of liked her and now with this whole interview and that...

She comes across as Dane Cook with Ovaries.

Hi Iliza!!

Pot, meet kettle. Shlesinger’s and Schumer’s comedy is exactly the same, and they’re both terrible.